To Make You Feel My Love
by kotax
Summary: A story of feeling heartbreak and a story of love, family and putting the pieces back together. A canon divergent tale about the relationship between Gale and Madge.
1. chapter one

**Title** : To Make You Feel My Love. 2016 re-write version.

 **Characters/Pairings:** Gale Hawthorne/Madge Undersee, brief Everlark mentions.

 **Rating:** T, mostly for paranoia/

 **Summary:** "No there's nothing that I wouldn't do, to make you feel my love." What would you do if you went to work and learned that the father of your children didn't know anything about you? Madge Undersee never expected it, but now that it's here... She's got to find a way to make the best of it.

 **CHAPTER ONE** **\- it's a brand new day**

 _"it's a brand new day, and the sun is high. all the angels are singing."_

The alarm blares loudly. Okay, so it was really just a simple buzzing, but it awakens Madge from the blissful sleep that her body was in, and because of that the alarm clock could have been a bomb and the reaction would have been the same. She lays in the bed, with hands pressed against her forehead covering her eyes so that they can adjust to the morning light, while she lays there, the sound of the alarm still ringing in her ears because she is just _too tired_ to move and shut the sound off.

To any sane person, 6:30 in the morning is far too early to be so awake and perky. Madge was one of those people who agreed, so whoever it is that has just ran past her bedroom window screaming Christmas songs in the middle of September is about to get a piece of her mind – you don't do that kind of things when a cranky pregnant lady lives right in the path that you're screaming, and she wants to make it known that they should never return. If only she could just find the will to get up, put on pants, and go outside before they're gone.

Tongue licks her bottom lips as she tries to apply just a bit of moisture to them, she groans while her hand smacks the dismiss button on her alarm clock. Legs toss over the side of the bed and she finds it in her to chuckle. Gale hadn't moved an inch since he crashed in their bed last night. The alarm clock, the annoyance of Christmas tunes, her extremely loud groan. None of it phased him.

Lately that man could sleep through anything.

"You, wake up." Arm nudges her sleeping husband as she tucks her robe together. "Come on, sweetheart, up." She pulls the blanket off of his shoulders and tosses it on the foot of the bed. "You were late yesterday and I don't think you want a repeat of that." The corner of her lips pull into a smile that reaches her entire face as he mumbles into the pillow. An airy chortle is heard as she inwardly repeats what he says. _What was that? Something about me always being right?_

As he heads into the joint master bathroom for a quick shower, Madge heads into the closet to decide on an outfit for the day, though in that moment she was entirely grateful that most of her maternity clothes matched each other, because her eyes were still tired and choosing an outfit as she normally would have wasn't something that she was awake enough to do.

She strides into the bathroom and rolls her eyes as she wipes the steam off the mirror. Of course now that they are able to, Gale has to use the hottest water possible. Frankly, she's surprised that he hasn't burned his skin completely off yet.

Much like every morning, as Gale gets himself ready for the day Madge heads downstairs to prepare breakfast. This morning it's nothing extravagant, a simple dish of toast and a cup of coffee for each of them. They aren't broke – they aren't struggling to eat as it was back home for Gale, but they weren't the best off in the district as it was for Madge back in Twelve. But they had what they needed, they were doing fine and were happy and content in their small home. Gale had worked a great job within the Military for the past six years, and Madge had begun work as a teacher for the half day students at the local school.

They make small talk over their toast and coffee (Iced Tea for Madge, Gale is paranoid and has banned caffeine intake for his wife), and as 7:15 rolls around, Gale collects his things and leans over to give his wife a tender kiss on the lips while his callused hands are placed gingerly on the small bump of her stomach. He mutters the words "Love you," and Madge isn't sure if he is speaking to her, to the growing child inside her, or to the both of them. But she smiles, giving him a gentle rub on his shoulder and shooing him out the door before biting the nail on her thumb before heading upstairs to complete her morning routine.

The day goes on as normal, with Madge arriving at the school to begin setting the classroom up for the day (At the end she typically just wanted to go home and rest. even though she is only 21 weeks pregnant it does get exhausting working around children and being on her feet 97% of the day. Most days she will leave the lessons and board set up as they are, however they aren't the type of stuff that can be reused every day.)

The end of the day approaches, giving assignments and assisting the students with their work when needed. When the knock is heard at the door, Madge doesn't anticipate anything more than a simple visit from another teacher, or perhaps the school principal requesting her presence.

"Brintlee, will you answer that, please?" She asks the small brunette who is working vigorously at her radicals. The teacher was assisting another young boy with his own assignment, her chair pulled up to the side of his desk pointing at the plus/minus sign he'd missed when her name pierces the sound barrier.

"Mrs. Hawthorne, a word." She recognized the voice immediately, it was the voice of own of Gale's fellow trainers. She looks up towards the door, and the confusion crashes over her as she nervously stands up, making sure that the her students understood what they needed to do and that if she wasn't back by the time it was time to begin to put their things away they would do so at Brintlee's instruction.

They stand in the hallway and Madge can immediately tell that something is wrong. The way Jenkins face is sullen, and the deep breath that he takes before he speaks makes the nerves in her body seem to peak an extreme. The feeling was one she had felt before, but not for some time. Last time she remembered the nerves and the fears in the back of her throat was when they were waiting to learn if she was indeed pregnant.

"Madge..." He begins, and she can tell the smile that he's now sporting is forced. "How have you been?"

Her head shakes quickly, small talk was never something she enjoyed, though she was good at it. "Jenkins, I don't have time for small talk, I have a class full of students who can only sit and work unsupervised for so long. I wouldn't be surprised if they'd already stopped working. Even though I told them to work until the normal time. Can you just tell me why you're here?"

"Madge, there was an accident with one of the new recruits. He didn't sit well with the fact that he had to do some training exercise. Basic stuff, everyone has to do it. Dude went nuts, went after a few of us."

She takes a breath in, biting hard down on her bottom lip to keep her emotions at bay. The way he was talking is not promising, but she tries everything in her power to keep the shaking nerves hidden.

"Okay, but recruits get irritated and lash out at you guys all the time, Gale tells me all about it. He finds it comical a lot of the time, because they manage to give you a scratch, maybe a bruise if they're lucky. I don't understand why you had to come interrupt my lesson if.."

She is immediately cut off by his concerned tone. "Madge, this wasn't a normal circumstance. This guy is lethal, or pretty well close to it. Two of our guys ended up going to see the doctor, one of them was unconscious and taken there on Emergency."

Eyes go wide and her heart stops, she isn't given room to question or protest before he continues.

"It was Gale."

 **AUTHORS NOTE:**

 _Guess who's back (Back again?) Kota's back, tell your friends! Just kidding. But hello, new and old readers alike. It is I, back from the dead, Kota. The writer of this crazy Gadge story, that in hind-sight is actually kind of a cliche story type but I am writing it anyway. This is a 2016 rewrite of the story that I wrote back in December of 2013-December of 2014. That story is unfinished and for the time being can be found under my old alias of stella briallre. I wrote that in first person, Madge's point of view, at the time I thought that would be the best way to write this story because it was her story - I never finished the story because I lost motivation and first person is really hard for me to write. This story is my project for NaNoWriMo 2016, and yes I know that it probably technically changing as some of the words are taken directly from the original version but idgaf. I wrote that story when I was seventeen and had free time. Towards the end of the story updates became sparse and the work was not as good as it should have been due to work dilemmas. I'm no longer working two jobs and I no longer work for either employer. (it's funny tho because the mentors that hated me that I mentioned in my last post aren't as lame as I thought they were, one of them works with me at my new job and since this job is so much better I'm much more comfortable being myself and I am happy there, he's noticed a huge difference in me and we're now great friends who talk crap on our former employer) Anyway, this note is getting far too long for my liking so I'll be ending it here. I don't know how many people read Gadge fanfiction anymore or if this fandom has died, but I'm posting my story regardless. Enjoy the first chapter. The next 15 chapters of this story have already been written and will be posted upon editing. If you notice any mistakes in this one please point it out to me._


	2. chapter two

**CHAPTER TWO -I DON'T WANNA SEE YOU CRY**

 _"I dream about you. What can I do to make you feel alright?_

 _Baby I don't wanna see you cry - No._

 _I wanna see you smile."_

* * *

When someone gets some sort of news that makes them rethink everything that have and everything that they had planned for their future, Madge always heard them describe it as if their entire world stops moving, as if there was no reason for them to try at that moment, because what they had thought they new was no more.

That wasn't the case for her, though, When he said it was Gale, when he told her that Gale was hurt, that he was unconscious from some lethal recruit and he wouldn't be coming home with me that night. Well, her heart seemed to shatter like a window when a rock is thrown at it. She couldn't breathe, she's gasping for air as her jaw is open wide as she tries to find what to say, say something, anything.

But what was there to say when your husband, the only person that you love more than anything, the only thing you have left in this god forsaken world, was taken to the hospital because he was attacked at his job?

Madge realizes that you can't say anything. Her throat is dry, she blinks her eyes but that doesn't stop the tears forming.

She isn't sure how long they were standing there, how long she just stared into the distance, when Jenkins finally took some initiative and knocked her into her senses. Telling Madge about how she needed to move and to go see Gale, how he'd want her there when he woke up, her shining face was the first thing he would want to see. Anyone who knew Hawthrone knew that, he said.

So she finds herself sitting so still, probably the stillest thing in the room (including the inanimate objects) and she's chewing nervously on her bottom lip; with a hand resting on the small baby bump in a vain attempt to find some sort of comfort in the hospital chair. Her eyes are glued to him, she notes how he looked so peaceful in his sleep. She tires, but she doesn't see a scratch on his body. To the blind eye, he appears fine except for the cooling pad on his pillow and the monitor attached to him.

But, the worry wasn't subsiding. At this point, he has been out for hours she has been watching him sleep for hours. And he hasn't even stirred. It's dark out, now, and he still hasn't woken and she knows that every second that passes the worse the damage. And, she adds inwardly, the worst part of all of it is the fact that they didn't give him any sort of sleep aid. None of the medication they'd given him had any sort of ingredient that would make him sleep longer than normal.

A nurse comes in sometime later, probably close to an hour, and she suggests that Madge should probably head home and try to get some rest, that she was doing no good just watching him. A tired wife would surely be cranky, add on the pregnancy hormones and she would be a menace to the hospital staff, surely. Truthfully, she wants to decline and convince her that she would need to be here for Gale.

With a sigh, she admits that it looks as if he won't wake any time soon. And as much as it is going to suck to part from him, the pain in her chest it causes, she knows that because she's not a patient here, she is unable to stay the night. The suggestion from the nurse was not a suggestion, but simply a telling her that she needs to leave for now.

It is harder than anything she ever imagined to locate a comfortable position in her bed, with just herself being there. She hates it. Sure, there have been nights when Gale wasn't home due to having to spend time out of the district, his job does require travelling, after all. But this was different. Tears stream down her cheeks while her mind drifts back to the time before they found ourselves in Two. It was the last time that she had really worried about Gale's safety,

It was right after the bombings in Twelve.

She recalls that as soon as she was sure it was safe she had decided to venture out of her hiding spot. All around was charred rubble, smoke still emitting from some of the piles of the remains of Twelve. There was no sight of another living human within the district. She couldn't be the only one, could she? Daddy went out to try and send warnings to the rest of the district. That was the last that she saw of him. She never saw him again. Quinn was trying to get Mamma downstairs when Madge had felt the first impact. She hadn't seen them since.

Most families weren't as fortunate as the Mayors family, there was a certainty in the back of her mind that she was the only one who was lucky enough to have a place to hide from it all underground.

Not even Gale. When that thought rang in her mind, her feet took her at a speed he hadn't known she could go, and she is heading towards his home in the Seam, the place where they had spent countless nights laughing around the small table, playing cards with Posy, and enjoying the company of his happy family. There was nothing left. She was so sure that she had lost him and she would be alone.

That was the only time that she had ever felt like that. Except for now, the feeling is so similar to that time, while now trying to find some sort of way to close her eyes and go to sleep. She's so exhausted, and sleep would be so helpful. But the the worry was boiling her insides. Every time that she closes her eyes the image of him in that bed, in pain crept back to the front of her mind. It was one of the worst sights that she had ever seen. Arguably, it could have been the worst.

Somehow, she manages to find a few hours of sleep, but it isn't enough. And her morning routine is nothing like it was before, it kills her.

There was no waking of her husband, no steam filled bathroom and she doesn't even bother to try and make a breakfast. She grabs two slices of bread and eats them plain, though it's tough to do so. She knows she has to, for the baby. The baby requires her to eat so that it can grow as it should. So she forces the food down through choked sobs.

Work drags on for hours. Even though she only teach for four hours a day, that day she feels like it's a lifetime because she doesn't know if there has been any change in Gale's state, she doesn't know what is happening with him and it's killing her insides. Jenkins said he'd update her if something major happened, but she knows that that really means he would update if his state worsens, she doubts he would be in a hurry to call her if his friend wakes up.

What seems like years later, her students are finally beginning to back their things and Madge is pretty sure that today she is packing things up faster than they are.

Hell, she even erases the board. Sure, it's done messily, but it's good enough that she can spare a few minutes tomorrow morning, which means that she is able to stay with Gale for longer without worrying too much about being the "rude teacher" due to the lack of sleep she would have for staying. because she tries more than anything to be the nicest teacher possible.

She walks as fast as she can without running as soon as her feet hit the pavement. The entire walk she is wishing that she could have just found someone to cover for her today so that she could have spent the day with Gale. She wishes that she could have simply cancelled classes, she wishes that she didn't have to go to work today.

But she knows that would be frowned upon just because of a "little bump on the head." Madge knows it's not that, she knows it's more serious, but that's what the parents and board might say, and, well, she's gotta please them if she wanted the income.

While she is sitting in the spot she spent several hours in the night before, the doctor comes in to check some monitors or something, Madge isn't sure why he entered, but it is that moment that Gale stirs in his sleep. Her eyes are wide when she sees him move, and, when his eyes open the first thing he sees is the doctor, who beats her to the first words he hears after he wakes. It stings a bit, but he's alive and awake, and she doesn't really care.

"Ah, good you're awake, Mr. Hawthorne. You had people very worried. Although, I assured them all that it was a simple bump on the head and you'd be back to your normal self in no time."

That causes a snort. He had said nothing of the sort, he didn't say anything to her, no matter how much she annoyed and pestered and said that it was her right to know.

And then Gale turns to her, and the look in his eyes when he sees her is one that could never be forgotten, even if she would try. He looks confused. And the words he says after that cause the same look upon her own features.

"Undersee? What are you doing here."

It isn't the way he says "you" that bothers her, even though he said it with a tone that she wish she would never hve to hear again. But it's the fact that he addresses me by my maiden name that causes her confusion, causes her brows to reach her hairline and stumble over words for a moment. It's been three years since she had gone by Undersee. Three years since he had called her that, and the name felt so foreign on her ears, she almost forgot that it even existed.

"What do you mean what am I doing here?" The question is spoken so faintly, and she finds herself, wondering if he could be bitter towards the fact that she wasn't there earlier. But that's such a vain thought, because she knows that he was unconscious during those hours, he wouldn't have any idea where she was or if she was sitting on the hard chair. She bites down on her bottom lip again, nerves wracking up her spine.

"I mean exactly that, what are you doing here." He says flatly. "And are you... pregnant?"

Her jaw drops and her heart almost stops. He just asked if she was pregnant... What does that mean? Before the accident he knew that, he was beyond excited and he even had names picked out even though he didn't know if it was going to be a girl or boy. He wanted it to be Rose; after Prim, but not sharing her name, because no one could replace Prim, but she had meant so much to them that he wanted to honor her. And if it was to be a boy he wanted the name Ivin. Madge doesn't know the significance of that one, or if it even has any.

So, she wonders, why would he question that if for any other reason besides he doesn't remember that little fact. And he questioned why Madge was there. It hits her like a thousand bricks, her knees go weak and tears are pricking the back of her eyes. There could only be one explanation.

He doesn't remember – he... Madge chokes back a sob. Gale doesn't remember that they're married.

Okay, Madge, she tells herself. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in, Breathe out.

An attempt to gather herself, an attempt to make it so that she doesn't break. Eyes close and lips purse together lightly as her mind is racing, and the only thing that can be heard is the sound of the doctor rusting through some sort of papers, she assumes the documents and charts regarding Gale's state.

"Okay, Gale, I get its kind of a thing here for people to play pranks on their significant other but Sweetheart, this isn't funny. You have three seconds to take back this cruel joke." The words are spoken with complete seriousness, and Madge is hoping that he would laugh, that he'd smile in return and tell her that he loves her and he's sorry for the scare. But that doesn't happen. The look on his face, the bland confusion, is what causes the tears to really start flowing from her orbs, clouding her vision.

"Oh, God." Her hand covers her mouth in shock, her words shaking as the tears quickly turn into full sobs complete with a shaking body.

More doctors walk in and pester Gale with questions, and he returns the favor with the ones he doesn't know. The things like where was he, how did he get there, who was feeding his family, and her least favorite why Madge was there. No one answers the last one. they continue his questioning and it's decided (by Madge herself, nothing is official until the psych evaluation, apparently) that the only things he remember are the events that took place just before the reaping for the 74th Hunger Games. The last true reaping.

He remembers nothing of their relationship at all. As far as he knows, they have only ever exchanged a few words here and there when he would bring strawberries to the back door with Katniss.

He doesn't even know her, he knows nothing about who she really is. He still thinks that Madge Undersee is the spoiled little girl who doesn't know what it's like to struggle or to feel much pain. He thinks she's blind to everything because the mayor's family had been handed everything so easily. That's what the old Gale thought, not what her husband thought, not the man that got to know her and see her flaws. But now, they're the same person.

It isn't until she makes the slightest movement in her seat that causes it to to move only a smidge. It makes a soft noise, but enough to make it so that it's once again noticed that she is still in the room. All eyes are on her in a second, her tear stained face with threats of sobs to overtake her entire body once. The doctors don't say anything, they don't have to. Legally speaking since this isn't an official evaluation she is allowed to be in the room. The looks say it all, though, she shouldn't be here. They don't want her there.

"I'm just..." She says slowly, reaching over the chair to grab the light jacket that she'd brought with her as she stands, "I'm just gonna go get some rest. I'll come back... later"

The words are spoken without knowing when later would be, without knowing if Gale would even want her to return.

Questions are reaching the front of her mind; The biggest one being, will seeing her make things worse?

She walks back to their small home, and she tries to push those questions that swim so clearly in her mind, she tries to shove them down, replace them with optimism and hope. Maybe this was something that was a quick thing. You know, maybe it'll be better in a few hours.

The returning later turned out to be about three hours later. Madge had hoped that the positive thoughts that filled her brain, the ones that held her from breaking down on the lonely walk back home, would be confirmed. But as she returned just before dinner that night those speculation and hopes were denied any truth. Crushed in an instance, like stepping on a spider and taking it's life, it's so quick and there is no warming.

They think there's a concussion that is causing the amnesia. It looks to be something semi-permanent. They believe that he'll remember some things and others will continue to be a distant memory. There's no telling when the memories he'll retain will be return, and there's nothing certain saying that they will. It's likely.

But to Madge, likely isn't good enough. It isn't enough for her to stop the tears or the worry; it doesn't erase the pain. She wants definitely, certainly, she wants everything to be the way that it was. The way that it should be. But she knows that it's entirely selfish.

All that she wants is to see Gale again. She wants to just run into his room and engulf him in a large hug, smothering kisses all over his face because she had missed out on them for the past two days. She wants them, and she wants his hands to rub her belly again and she want to lay in bed and talk about things for their baby again.

The baby. Oh, how much they loved this baby.

Her thoughts begin to wonder what role he's going to play now. He's still the father, and he'll see reason with that. Even before they were together Gale stepped up to the plate with his siblings.. She knows that even if he, and Madge hate to think like this but it's still looming in her mind, he never loves her again, he'll help with this baby. He's a good guy, Gale, and he always has been.

After a moment, she has worked up the courage to walk into his room. Knocking on the door as it opens, she sticks her head in first, hesitantly. He looks bored and slightly irritated.

"Hi." The simple word is spoken tentatively, and she steps inside and allows the door to close softly behind her. "You up for some conversation?"

He doesn't say anything. She's not surprised.

"I could catch you up on what's happened the past six or seven years." She suggests in a completely friendly tone with arms crossed over her chest.

"Like anything interesting has happened?" He states monotone, but it's more of a question than a statement.

"Well, we're not back in Twelve..." Taking a seat on the same chair, at this point it should be marked as "Madge's chair", she smiles somewhat mischievously. "So, yeah, some interesting stuff has gone down."

"Like?" He looks slightly intrigued. Which is good, she decides. Madge is the only familiar face he's seen, maybe that's a good thing. But he doesn't look friendly. Almost as if he doesn't trust what she is going to say.

"I'll start with the games. Prim was reaped, Katniss volunteered. She and Peeta Mellark won." Madge says casually, purposefully leaving out most of the details . And the look on his face is priceless. She smiles but it wipes away instantly when his face turns into a scowl.

"God, Undersee. I could maybe believe the whole Katniss thing, but two winners? The Capitol would never allow that."

She sighs loudly. Somehow knowing he wouldn't believe her, she pulls a book out of her bag. It's the thin history book that she and a few other teachers put together about the rebellion, trying to get the curriculum worked out for the students. She tosses it gently and it lands by her feet.

Flatly, she shrugs. "Read for yourself."

For some reason, she thought she would try to see if maybe there was a chance that he has some sort of feeling that he should just trust her. Emotions and feelings, those are powerful things. As she was once told by my mother that they don't just go away. She had hoped that that was the case.

Unfortunately, that no longer appear to be a statement that rings tru.

They were back where they were all those years ago in Twelve. He detests her and everything he thought she was and stood for.

She looks him over while taking three deep breaths. Chewing on her lip after muttering a goodbye, she walks out a determined personae taking over.

He may hate her now, But he fell in love with Madge Undersee once, he could do it again. Right?

That's got to be the only thought that she can hold onto now.

* * *

 **AUTHORS NOTE:**

once again, let me know if y'all notice any mistakes. this was edited by me so there's probably something.


	3. chapter three

**CHAPTER THREE - ALL LOVE DOES IS BREAK, AND BURN, AND END.**

" _The drought was the very worst._

 _When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst._

 _It was months, and months of back and forth_

 _You're still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore._

 _Hung my head as I lost the war, and the sky turned black like a perfect storm"_

 _\- Clean, Taylor Swift_

He's getting released today. It seems like it's been a long time coming, the days he was in the hospital seemed to be some of the longest of Madge's life - she's not sure if she's excited that he is returning to their small home or if she was dreading it.

The psychologists said that it's probably best that Madge and the others expose him to things a little at a time. Since it's clear that Madge was pregnant and he now knows that it's his child, that's what they have chosen to start with. The rest will come with time, so she's told.

Gale has always been a responsible guy, so even if they didn't want to start with that, if they had something else they were going to use as a starting point, he wouldn't give up on it, he wouldn't want his child to be left alone without him, not after the way he grew up. Plus, Madge recalls, he loved children.

So for now she's going to try to not mention the fact that they're married, and she'll keep comments about their relationship to a minimum. It'll be a challenge, but she's up for it.

Someday he'll accept it. She is determined to make sure that much. Acceptance. But until then, she has had to take down the wedding photos of them. Most of them, anyway. The one next to their shared bed on her side isn't moving. She plain refused to move that. She wasn't the one they were easing into these things after all.

She's sat with him every day since the accident. It's been almost two weeks now; she likes to think that he has warmed up to her. Others are also agreeing with her, which is good, she doesn't feel as insane with that. She doesn't think he's looked over the history that he was given, though. He hasn't said anything about it. And the fact that his best friend won the Hunger Games and fueled a rebellion all while trying to decide if she was in love with a baker or a hunter seems to be something the old Gale would at least comment on. After all, he hated this country, so the fact that it wasn't like it was before? No, Madge is fairly certain he hasn't brought himself to read it. She can't come up with a conclusion as to why, though. But she shakes it off and chooses to focus on other things. Like bringing her husband back to her.

That morning she walked to the hospital in a crisp wind, one that brushes her loose blonde locks against her face and neck. She has taken the day off of work despite all the factors saying she shouldn't. Frankly, she didn't care if he didn't love her. He needed Madge to be there for him, he needed someone, it was going to be her despite the fact that she doesn't think he wants to live with her right now. The trust isn't there yet. But that's understandable, it took a while for him to warm up to her before.

They don't really have a choice, and he knows how tight money can get. They just can't afford to put him somewhere else. She is already trying to calculate how they're going to pay for his medication, what they are going to give up each month for it. Something has to give.

With a friendly smile she meets Jenkins and his girlfriend, Ava, in the lobby and the three of them head up to the sad room where Gale has been for the past fourteen days. Jenkins hasn't been to see him yet. At least when Gale was awake. Madge was curious to how he would take this. After the cute couple arrived in Two, he and Gale bonded really quickly, he was almost like his new best friend. When he heard that Gale had absolutely no memory of what's happened here he didn't want to make things worse as he would have been an entirely new face. But Madge needed his and Ava's help getting Gale settled in the house. She couldn't do it alone.

"Hey, Woody!" Jenkins says cheerfully upon entrance, throwing the door open without knocking and purposefully using the nickname he gave Gale. He knew all about Gale and going into the woods, and the nickname just sort of happened one day. It never faded. "You get to get out of here now."

Gale's confused, understandably so. His face shows that clear as day. He also looks slightly irritated, which no one can fault him for. He doesn't remember anything. Anyone would be frustrated at that.

Nothing else is said as they head back to their house. They can only wish it were a comfortable silence, but the weight of it is heavy. No one knows what to say and Madge keeps quiet – she's terrified that if she says anything, everything she is working towards will be destroyed. Words have to be chosen carefully.

So, she stays quiet and doesn't say a word. Not for a while.

When Gale asked where the bed and bathroom were, Madge points to the small half bath off the front room and then guides him to their bedroom where the full bath was tucked just beside their closest.

It isn't until Madge has finished cooking dinner (a simple pasta with garlic as she is far from being an amazing chef, her menu was simple and easy. It also contained a lot of pasta) when she finally musters up the courage to say something to him.

She knocks on the closed door to their room as she slowly opens it, and there he's sitting. And he's holding the picture of them from the wedding. The only one she didn't move. He's seemed so mesmerized by it.

"Dinner's on the table if you're wanting to eat. Which I'd advise you should. It's not much better than hospital food, but it's something." She speaks the words casually, not moving from next to the door.

He doesn't look up from the picture.

"This was in the meadow back in District Twelve." It's not a question, but you can hear the slight confusion in his tone, which is something that I don't understand. "We live here. If we got married in Twelve, when did we move here?"

A smile comes on her face as she listens to his words. She doesn't understand it, but he's accepted that they got married. He was asking about it. She strides over to the bed, sitting next to him, and tilts the picture a little bit to remove the glare from the window.

"We came here right after the war. Didn't even stop in Twelve. You said goodbye to your family and then we left." She looks up from the photograph to see a slightly confused look still on his face. "When we got married I thought you'd want your friends and your family, there with you. So I suggested we'd go back to Twelve to do it. Most of them were there, anyway."

"Oh."

 _Oh._ That's all he says. Madge doesn't even know what she was expecting him to say, but it surely wasn't that. Oh? Maybe she wanted him to thank her or something now, even though he'd done that when the suggestion was made. And that thanking was followed by several kisses. Man, how she misses that, the love and devotion every action he gave her showed. It seems like a lifetime since she got to taste his lips, she gotten so used to them that she forgot that they could be ripped away so easily.

"So..." His word pulled Madge from her thoughts and she finds herself anticipating what he was going to say. "Your Mom... was she there? I know she was sick and bedridden, but did they find a way to get here there?"

Her heart drops, and she stands up quickly eyes looking away from him. Nervously hands brush through her hair and there's a pregnant pause. Silence fills the room and it's then that her gaze meets with the floor.

"No." the word is stated simply, almost guiltily.

Sadness creeps upon Madge as she realizes that she hasn't thought about her mom in a while. She wishes that she were at their wedding, she wishes that she was here to compare stories of their pregnancies and talk about their similarities and differences. She wanted her mother to gush about how much she admired Madge and how she was going to enjoy raising her child. She wishes she had her mom to comfort her now, and to tell her how everything was going to be okay, that things play out exactly the way that they were meant to be.

It isn't until that moment that she realizes that she is now completely and utterly alone.

Before she was fine, she had Gale. She didn't really need her family, not when he was at her side. Her father didn't approve of her relationship with Gale, anyway. He probably wouldn't be around even if he did survive the bombs. It would have been nice if her mother was here, but growing up she knew, somewhere inside of her, that she'd never be able to see her grandchildren.

Now she doesn't even have Gale; her rock. The one person who'd kept her sane since losing everything. And then, she lets the tears fall. They're silent tears, streaming down her rosy cheeks. She tries to hide them from Gale, because she has to be strong for him, be strong for her husband. She can't break. She takes a deep breath and strides towards the door slowly. Without looking back at him, she finds herself speaking the words as strongly as she can (which isn't very) "I'm gonna go eat."

She wakes the next morning on the couch, the first thing she notices is not how uncomfortable she is but that The book that she had gotten lost in had fallen and is now lying face down on the floor, pages surely bent and wrinkled. Madge groans and her hand rubs the side of her temple. Just what she needed on top of all the news she's been getting. Damage to one of her favorite novels. With a hard swallow, she tosses her legs over the couch and sits up straight.

She doesn't recall falling asleep, hell she doesn't recall even being tired. Eyes glance at the clock and all feelings of grogginess from arising are thrown to the side quickly. It's almost like the realization that she only has fifteen minutes to get to work had splashed ice water over her. She wakes quicker that morning than she ever had before.

Somehow, she managed to make it through the last few days. She had shared little interaction with Gale, as he is probably still adjusting to this. It's like he woke up one morning and his entire life had been taken away from him. Madge can't even begin to imagine what it would be like being him.

She throws open the bedroom door without even bothering to knock. She takes just a second, though she doesn't have many to spare, to see that he's still lost in his blissful sleep. Typical Gale. Last night he was up late talking to some of the guys he works with, what they were speaking of Madge wasn't sure, but she does know that it had to be a hard conversation to hear because when they left he looked more confused than ever.

Madge doesn't hate many things, but she hates this. With a fiery passion that most people can only read about feeling.

She hates the awkward feeling, the feeling that they're being pushed apart. It was worse than any feeling she had ever had. She can't even stand it, but she knows that ultimately she has no choice. This is her life now.

After tossing a simple outfit, hair brushed into a messy pony tail, she realizes she doesn't even have time for her light dusting of makeup. Comments will surely be made.

Madge wonders briefly as she walks into the kitchen to grab something to eat on the walk to the school why she is even bothering going into work today. She hadn't been for the last two days, all she's done is sit at home and read (by read that really means wallow in self pity and wonder what her life will be like now). She only touched the gorgeous piano that was an anniversary gift from Gale (the one that she hadn't asked how he got it there, how he afforded it. She knew he would have killed her) last year a grand total of one time, and that attempt didn't go over well. Her inspiration for playing was gone.

But since Gale is out of work she has to go, they can't afford for both of them to lose their income and she's already missed so much.

So she spends her day half-heartedly teaching a group of kids who couldn't care less about arithmetic or history or whatever Mrs. Hawthorne is saying this time around.

They day drags on. Three students fall asleep at their desk and one little boy tears another student's Grammar assignment in half. Madge has to physically bite her tongue so that she doesn't snap at them. Mrs. Hawthorne is the nice teacher, she has to remind herself that her snapping at one of these students could ruin their day.

Oh, how nice it must be to have behaving in school be the biggest of your worries. Oddly enough Madge would rather be back home facing the reaping than facing all the problems she is now.

As the students are filing out of class at the end of the day, Madge sits in the chair behind my desk grading the days quiz. So lost in her work, she can barely hear the soft voice of Brintlee.

"Mrs. Hawthorne?"

"Hmmm." she hums, not bothering to look up from the quiz. Aggravation was wearing on her face because all the answers are wrong.

Every. Single. One.

Madge doesn't even want to guess how someone manages to get every question on such a simple quiz wrong even if they're guessing. The odds just don't make sense.

"I'm glad your back." Those short words cause her to look up from her work with a sad smile. The little girl she'd taken as her "Teachers Pet" continues. "My dad told me what happened. Uncle Frenda works with your husband. Is he okay?"

She stands from her chair and puts her hand on her shoulder in a reassuring gesture. "He's fine." She says simply. "Thank you for your concern, Brintlee. I appreciate it." She walks over to the black board at that and begins erasing the day's agenda that had been etched on it that morning.

Brintlee walks next to her, speaking with a tone ringing of excitement as she digs in her bag. "I have something for you." You couldn't miss the smile on her face even if you'd tried. It was so genuine, her face was almost brighter than the florescent lights that lit the hallways of the school building.

"Oh?" Madge questions, turning to face her with a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. Unlike the ones that she had sported the past three days, this one is genuine. This little girl, this student of hers, could light up a room of the countries saddest people without even trying. And then, she hands her a small crocheted blanket to Madge so carefully that it could have been glass.

It's soft. The white yarn is as soft as the world's fluffiest cat and every stitch is perfect, not a single missed one.

"I helped my sister make it. For your baby. She thinks it will help make things better. I hope it does" She explains, and the way her eyes are darting around nervously, Madge is sure she is trying to read her face for a reaction. But the teacher is so overwhelmed by this gesture. She doesn't know what to do or what to say. She is eternally grateful for it.

Finally, after what seems like a far too long pause, she stumbles over the words "It's amazing, Brin, really. Thank you so much." somewhere during the words, her hand reaches the young girl's shoulder reassuringly.

"Welcome! I'll tell Katie you said so!" After a moment, the little girl scampers out of the room, having to meet her sister to walk home. Madge only chuckles and shakes her head as she watches the girl leaves.

The dinner preparations are for more than just the happy couple that night. This has caused Madge to wash the silverware at least ten times, wanting it to shine as if the items were purchased just this morning. They don't- but it's close enough.

Gale may not care, but Madge does.

They may say that they don't care if they have the nicest flatware in the country or if they eat with wood sticks. But once again, Madge does.

Even if Gale doesn't remember anything about their beautiful relationship, even if he never will, Madge knows that she still has to impress them. She wants to impress them.

And when there's a knock at the front door she starts dosing with nerves. She opens the door to greet Hazelle, Vick, and Posy, she doesn't even bother to force a smile as they aren't here for a social visit. They have arrived because he is hurt and lost and she didn't know who else to call for help.

Rory would have come too, but he is still just getting used to life on his own, the life without the rest of his family. He has has job and his girlfriend and Madge wasn't able to find it in her to disrupt that by asking him to come out and help her.

Posy's arms engulf Madge in a hug the second that their eyes meet. The two rarely get to see each other, the last time being at their wedding, but for a reason she can't place she's incredibly fond of the girl. Inwardly Madge comments on how much the girl has grown since then. At eleven years old her height almost matches Madge's, and much like the young Brintlee, she can manage to light up a room simply by saying what was on her mind. Posy still hasn't grown out of her childhood innocence. Madge hopes she never does.

Every time they talk on the phone, though limited as that is, she feels as if she is still speaking to the four year old girl she met when Gale and Madge first became friends. It's the breathe of fresh air that she needed.

"Where's Gale?" Vick asks as Madge hastily ushers the family into the dining room.

"Probably sitting in the bedroom. That's how he spent most of yesterday." Come to think of it, Madge hasn't seen him since she came home from work a few hours ago. "I'll go grab him. Just a sec."

She knocks on the door, and after a second of silence being returned, she pushes it open. "Gale?"

He doesn't answer. And looking around, she notices that he isn't even in there at all, it's completely silent.

Her teeth bite the inside of her cheek and she looks around once more, glancing in their shared bathroom while wondering when he had left the room and why she missed it.

She walks out of the room with a confused expression, striding into the room next door. the one that they were setting up for their baby, but had planned on setting up a second bed so that neither of them had to sleep on the couch. They haven't gotten around to that yet.

There isn't much in there right now, a few boxes of clothes that were gifts from friends, a crib that hasn't been assembled. To the left or the window is a rocking chair, the white blanket she'd been given not too long ago draped over the side having chosen that was the best place to put it when she arrived home from work.

Madge is surprised when she sees him sitting on the floor against the wall to the right of the chair in the room, in between that and a stack of bins. He sits so perfectly still with his head against the wall. Madge can't help but wonder how long he had been sitting there, she wonders why he's there.

"Hey..." She whispers. "Dinner's ready." His eyes lock with hers and she tries to get a read on him, but she can't break the steel gaze on his face. "You should come eat, there's company out here for you that's dying to see you."

He doesn't respond right away, but pushes himself off the ground. his grey eyes keep on her and it causes a wave of anxiety through her. The look on his face is cold, and she despises it. There's too many bad feelings associated with that look. If feels as if they are standing like that for an eternity, surely his family is getting antsy outside. When he stands and strides toward her, his head shakes and he mutters. "You're gonna have a baby..."

Nerves race through her and she swallows, nodding once.

She watches as he takes one step forward. For a moment she thinks that he's going to make a sweet comment, something about how excited he is for the baby and to help her decorate the room. But she's wrong. "You're going to have a baby, and you only have clothes and a crib that hasn't been setup yet.." His words are spoken with a slightly distasteful tone, taking her back just slightly. "You need more than that."

That's all he said. He critiqued the way she was planning for her child- for their child and then he walked out of the room, leaving Madge confused and upset in the spot she stood. Typical Gale Hawthrone.

She inhales deeply. Three deep breaths with fingers running through her hair. Head shakes and she mutters. _Thanks, Captain Obvious. It's not like I have months to get stuff prepared or anything._

* * *

 _ **authors note:** in order to make sure that the story flows more smoothly than last time, i've decided to combine a few chapters, as well as remove some events that weren't as important to gale's recovery. as always any mistakes are mine - still editing this on my own. _


	4. chapter four

**CHAPTER FOUR - OUT OF MIND**

" _You're out of your mind to think that I could keep you out of mine._

 _Happy used to be together, you and me._

 _Things die, drift apart. Wait for the new start. "_

 _Out of Mind, Tove Lo._

It is that evening that Gale smiles for the first time since he has come home. Perhaps since the accident.

His sister was telling a story of some guy named Carlton at her school, how he was just _so infuriating_ and how she couldn't stand the fact that this kid would not leave her alone. It may have been the tone that she was using, or maybe it was just her, but whatever the reason it made Gale smile the most genuine smile that touches his face gently.

His family always had a way of doing that. No matter what was going on outside if he was with them he was happy.

Hazelle makes a comment to her about how this is her favorite sight. She had seen many things in her lifetimes, watched many sunrises and sunsets, she'd birthed four beautiful children and had married a beautiful man. She had watched children play in the meadow and after the war she was able to visit District Four and watch the sunset over the large bodies of water. But watching her eldest son clear the table with his younger siblings was her favorite thing to see.

Madge has to question why; and when she does Hazelle does not laugh, she doesn't pass a look of judgment or make it seem as if it were something that Madge should have just _known_. It was a breath of fresh air.

Hazelle's words are spoken with such love that it causes Madge to smile. "Because, I'm their mother. Watching them be able to talk so freely, joking around with each other, and be helpful at the same time? I couldn't ask for anything more." Her gaze turns towards the blonde, a blind man could have seen the a twinkle in her eyes. "I'm swimming with pride. Though, on occasion I do fear for the plates that their holding. I've seen Vick get a little too upset with Gale's teasing." Her mother-in-law states with a smile, a laugh heard through her words.

Madge understands that, at least to a point. Perhaps it's something that she'll understand even more when she actually has her own child. Right now, her favorite thing to look at is a nice large plate of strawberries sprinkled with sugar. The way that the red and the white compliment each other and the savory look that they showcase… _Wow, Madge. You've become a pregnancy cliche._ Strawberries are now, have always been, and she is sure will always be, her absolute favorite thing to consume. (Except, maybe Gale's kisses. She would trade all the strawberries in the world for just one kiss from her husband.) She chews on her bottom lip, glancing over at the group clearing the table and nods in reply to Hazelle. "Understandable."

A soft hand is placed gently on Madge's shoulder, and she quickly looks over the elders facial expression - the genuine concern showing with a raised brow and the tone she speaks her question "How are you doing, Madge?"

"Me?" The questioning tone rings out as she shrugs her shoulders to flow with her go-to answer for the question. "I'm fine." Really. Truly. Absolutely positively _fine._ If she says it enough, it's true.

Hazelle chortles, a scoff of disbelief and protests, "I find that really hard to believe. You're pretty good at bottling your feelings up, so I'm sure that you've convinced yourself that you're fine, but you can talk to me. I'm your mother-in-law for Pete's sake!"

Feigning seriousness, Madge leans forward against the table, despite knowing elbows did not belong there (what would her Father say if he could see her now?) "Shouldn't that make me hate you? Isn't being a Mother in Law the fate that strikes fear in the hearts of women everywhere?"

They smile, sharing a light laugh, before Hazelle continues. "Maybe the women who know they'd be terrible at the role. I happen to like you and think I'm rather good at this whole thing. Besides, who else do you have to talk to?"

She has a point, Madge hasn't made many friends here. Friends weren't ever something that she really had on back burners, save for Katniss. She had acquaintances, sure, but not one she trusted enough to tell her heart to. That wasn't something that she ever really did. Even though she considered Katniss a friend, the other girl probably knew nothing about Madge's hobbies, fears, hopes and desires, not until after…. Well, everything. Madge just didn't open up about anything, to anyone. When they first started dating Gale literally had to pry her thoughts out of her head, at first it was comical but eventually she's pretty sure he got too frustrated with it. Her shyness probably stemmed from having to remain quiet around her own home whenever Capitol residents visited - she just ended up applying that to her everyday life. Or maybe it was just her personality. She isn't too sure anymore.

Madge licks her bottom lip with a nod of acquiescence. Bottling up her emotions wasn't something she _wanted_ to do. "It's…" She pauses, looking down at her lap. Describing how she was feeling was a tedious task, because it meant she'd really have to think about it. She didn't like thinking about it.

"It's hard. I mean, yeah, it's probably harder for Gale because he literally can't remember the last six or seven years of his life, as far as he recalls he's about to go stand in a swarm of people and wonder if one of the 42 slips with his name on it is going to be drawn so he's sent to his death. That was hard enough as it was. But everything is so different now, he doesn't know how it got there or even what's going on or anything like that." Her head shakes as she realizes that she's rambling to cover up her own feelings; she mentally slaps herself because Hazelle knows all this. "I can't even imagine how hard that is. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining or ungrateful or only thinking about myself, mostly for fear that I'll never be able to get that image out of Gale's head, but it's like… I've lost everyone I care about in my life. I want to close my eyes and wake up in the morning and have my husband by my side and have him tell me he loves me. It's so hard, going through this alone. My life hasn't been ripped away from me, but at the same time, it has." She sighs, head bowed and eyes closed, her blonde hair falling out from behind her ears. And then, there's the all to familiar itching in her throat and tears forming in the back of her eyes. But she tries to swallow the sorrows back with an apology. "I'm sorry - I don't mean to dump this on you."

"You lost your family in the war, you left your friends to come here and build a new life with him, and now it feels like you may have made a mistake." Hazelle states, almost as if she understood everything that she was going through - Madge notices that she completely ignores the apology she'd given, which gives her a strange comfort.

"I don't know if I would say a mistake, exactly. For one moment I have not regretted coming here, I'm proud of the life we built and the accomplishments we've made together. Both here and back during the war. The way I see it, you have to regret something for it to be a true mistake. I just…" With a light exhale she shakes her head again quickly, chewing on her bottom lip (She really been doing that a lot, lately. They will probably be a hole in it soon enough.) "I mostly just wonder what's going to happen next. Am I going to be going through this alone? Am I going to raise my child as a single mother, sending them to Daddy's on the weekend? I don't want that for my child. I want them to have a loving family with a mother and a father who care for them and can provide them all the comfort that they need."

The brunette gives a nod in acknowledgment. "My son loves you, Madge, I've known that since the first day he came in, clad in a scowl and knitted brows, muttering about how he couldn't stand the princess Madge Undersee, how she was just _so_ entitled, or something along those lines. You just have to be patient with him - he'll be back to loving you soon enough. I wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't already, and he's just hiding it like before."

Those words cause a glimmer of hope in her, but she has to shove it aside. As much as she wants to be optimistic, she also has to be realistic. "I don't think he's the same guy he was before."

"Maybe not - but his heart wasn't damaged, it was his brain, his memories. That kind easily be retrained. He loved you with ever fiber of his being, and a little bit of amnesia won't change that."

Madge nods in return, taking the words into account. She doesn't hide the smile that is now tugging at the corner of her lips, though. "I hope. I just don't want to overwhelm him with my feelings, I don't want to be the girl who forces a guy to be with her because she's pregnant, and I'm afraid that eventually he'll see it that way."

"Don't push him, but don't push him away, either. You two had a beautiful courtship given the circumstances. Who doesn't want to relive the early days of their relationship? The early days, when you're still getting to know each other and the sparks are there and everything he does gives you butterflies. My advice?" The elder says with a nudge on her daughter in law's shoulder. "Just let things flow naturally. Don't stress, for obvious reasons, but remember that just like before, you can't put a timeline on these things. Treat him like you would have before you guys got married and ran to the other side of the country."

Madge wishes that she had Hazelle Hawthorne in her back pocket for every moment of her life. She really did know how to talk to people. The waiver of worry in the back of her mind wasn't gone completely, she doesn't know that it ever will truly cease, but talking to Gale's mom had helped.

"Oh, and Madge, don't worry. Even if you and Gale don't get back to the way you are kind of stuck with us as a family."

"I think it's more you guys are stuck with me." Madge elaborates, with a chuckle.

Madge wants to ask him later that night, after the family has headed to their motel, about the night, more than anything just wanting to hear why hearing his sister complain about the menace she had encountered in school was the first thing to make him smile in weeks. She wants to hear him talk about. But she doesn't. She knows why he was happy, because she knows Gale - They're happy, they aren't struggling and here isn't anything else in the world that he wanted then to give his family the best life possible. That is why there was a smile on his face, such a genuine and loving smile that was only reserved for his family, because they are happy and okay. She hasn't yet earned the right to listen to him rave about his family, despite the want to just hear his passion and happiness in his voice instead of the cold and zoned out tone that she's been getting.

Even though she tries to think of other things, of happier things, her mind wanders to the facts that she realized a while ago. The reasons why he had some sort of vendetta against her for so long; because if they saw Madge, if she hung out around them,they would start wanting things he couldn't give them. He could barely give them food some nights, and Madge had her fancy capitol dresses and more food than she knew what to do with.

It took her a while to understand why he was like that, why he hated for things that she had no control over. It took her too long to realize that it wasn't her that he hated, it was the position that she was in, that she wasn't in the same position he was in, and she couldn't possibly understand what it felt like to struggle or feel any sort of pain.

Madge knew what pain was, she knew struggles. They weren't the same kind of struggles, but they were there.

So she tossed all that aside the second it clicked for her. Whenever she went to visit Prim she would wear her old gardening overalls and she would tie her messy blonde locks into a bun sans ribbon. In hindsight she doesn't even really know why the material things like that mattered, but after a while he started to see who Madge really was.

She worked so hard to prove herself, for reasons she isn't sure - but now he doesn't remember her, it's almost as if she is having to start all over. She has to find a way to make him see who she really is again. To make him understand that she's more than what he saw on the outside, and she knows that this is going to be a lot harder than last time. The situation is completely different. They are no longer able to comfort each other while Katniss is away fighting for her life. She's no longer able to show Prim a few things on the piano and they're not able to walk home from school together. Everything that they had to build their foundation on before has been completely wiped away.

But she remembers Hazelle's words or encouragement and smiles inwardly. Deciding in that moment that she wasn't going to live in the past, she herself had said that Gale wasn't the same person he was before they got together. Madge wasn't either. She shouldn't be throwing herself a mental pity party over everything that was happening and potential outcomes. The future, a great warrior once said, is always in motion.

Holding the basket of laundry against her side she slowly kicks the door to the Master bedroom open. In the back she can hear the shower running and she pauses after setting the basket down on the chest kept at the foot of their bed. Her lips purse together, brows wrinkled in thought. Would Gale like her standing within the same room as him while he showered?

Her mind yells at her, telling her that she needs to stop tip toeing around Gale Hawthorne, that she needs to get her laundry put away and pick up the damn dirty socks that he left on the floor next to his bed. It seems, no matter the circumstances, Gale is rather lazy when it comes to his socks.

It seems, no matter the circumstances, Madge is rather annoyed by the nasty ass socks on the floor.

She's hanging the last of the clothes up in the closet when the shower shuts off and Gale walks out in nothing but a pair of night pants, hair soaked and dripping down his face. Turning and walking out of the closet, she's slightly taken aback by the sight, but she smiles regardless.

She really does think that he has a great body - His muscles have been toned since he started working as a Captain and _Oh goodness, his abs._ It could make any girl weak in the knees, and she was definitely no exception. His body is one of the last reasons she loves him, but it sure doesn't hurt that she's been blessed with such a good looking husband.

He must have noticed her admiring him, because he turns towards the closet, where she's leaning against the door frame, hair falling messily across her face and a light smile on her lips. She blushes the moment his eyes graze over her.

"Sorry…" She mutters, stepping forward quickly to grab the laundry basket and make a quick getaway to clear the laundry pile out in the bathroom; her head bowed the entire movements to try and hide the pink tint taking her cheeks.

She hears his chuckle, the one that just rang with the " _Madge you're being ridiculous"_ statement. She's very familiar with that chuckle. As she walks back in the room with a pile of laundry, he questions with a tilted head and a playful smile. "Madge, can I help you?"

"Yeah," she mutters, walking passed him and picking up the disgusting, smelly, and annoying socks off the floor. "You can stop leaving your damn socks on the floor. Honestly, Gale, you're a grown man you should know how a freaking hamper works. I'm not your maid, I hate picking up your socks." She grumbles the last bit as she stands up straight, the hand that isn't holding the basket resting on her back. "It's slowly starting to be the death of me to clean these up."

He raises a brow, nodding once, and she notices a smirk pulling at his lips. "Okay. That all?"

Deep inhale. No, that's _not_ all. Madge has a large list of things that Gale could do for her. "You could stop being so grouchy."

 _Oh no_. She shouldn't have said that. Her eyes go wide as she inwardly chastised herself. Red flags go off in her head and she can hear the sirens blaring and her subconscious screaming at her _Get out of there, Undersee. Abort mission. Clothes. Washing. Get on it._

"Probably." He agrees. "I wouldn't say that I'm grouchy, though. Closed off. Limited." His words are spoken nonchalantly, and he shrugs as he finishes.

"You don't say!" Madge says with clear annoyance as she walks out out of the room.

"Must have hit you pretty close to the mark to get you all riled up like that, huh?" He says flatly, following her out of the room.

She groans. "Gale, honestly, I don't want to have this conversation right now."

"Why's that?"

"Because, I'm not in the mood, that's why. Let's just go our separate ways, you can do whatever it is shut up in our room all day and I'll sit on the couch and read a book and snack on some bread."

"Like you do every night." He nods once, leaning against the door-frame, arms crossed against his chest. ( Madge notices the way his nightshirt clings to his chest, it shows off the muscle, his biceps. Damn.)

She bites her cheek, scoffing quietly before muttering "I don't read every night. Some nights I grade papers or plan lessons. Contrary to popular belief, I do have to work sometimes."

"I meant the having a snack." Gale clarifies. Madge instantly becomes despondent.

Deep breath, and she swallows, realizing she's getting worked up over absolutely nothing (damn, those hormones? At least, that's what she's going to blame.) "Right. Sorry." Slowly, turning to face him, her eyes match the apology just stated. "I'm speaking out of turn, you can be grouchy or closed off or whatever you want to call it. You have the right."

Lips turn into a smirk, she doesn't miss that his grey eyes have a brief sparkle to them. "True. But that doesn't mean that you don't also have a right to be upset about it."

True to form, confusion crashes over her at his statement. He almost seemed…. Accepting? He seemed to care about her feelings and thoughts about the whole situation. Not that he never cared about her feelings before, he just wouldn't ever admit it. He really wasn't the same guy that he was before.

"'Night." Gale states before she has a chance to retaliate, turning on his heel and walking out of the room, but not before calling behind him "Oh, and stop apologizing for everything!"

That night, Madge can't stop smiling.

 _Progress. Baby steps… but steps nonetheless._

* * *

 ** _authors note:_** _i'm really not sure what I think of this chapter. It's very different from what it was when I originally wrote (re-wrote? idk) it. It has been edited, things added and removed, and I'm just... meh. Once again, this was edited by me so all mistakes are mine. If you see any please let me know. You guys have been great._


	5. chapter five

**CHAPTER FIVE - I KNEW IT WELL**

" _I held on as long as I could possibly. My blind faith pushing me to my knees_

 _I felt the warmth of a touch and it made me believe. I knew it well"_

\- _Hell and Back, The Airborne Toxic Event_

The next evening Madge is sitting cross legged on the couch with a pile of students bell quizzes that she _has_ to get graded today - it's already been 2 days. But she's been so overwhelmed with everything she hasn't been able to focus. It's almost a blessing that Gale went out with his family alone.

She's chewing on the tip of her pen when he strolls in with only a muttered hello.

"Did you have a nice time?" She questions innocently, blue orbs not looking up from her work.

"Yep." Is all he replies with.

She sighs, exasperated. Conversation like normal adults. That's all she wants. She caps her pen and neatens the stack of papers; tossing her legs over the couch she pushes herself up.

Brow raises as she sets the work on the side table, trying desperately to keep her voice calm despite the growing annoyance (not at Gale, necessarily, but the situation) "Are you heading to bed?"

"Most likely."

She purses her lips and nods once… another short answer. She's starting to think that the very short conversation that _he_ initiated yesterday was a fluke.

Which just won't do.

Her eyes almost beg for him to say something more than one word, and despite her best efforts the same is showing in the question that she speaks. "Can we at least talk first?"

He exhales, "Suppose." Madge can see that he is slipping back to his old ways. She can't blame him, of course, that's what he knows.

"You're really good at this whole conversing thing, you should get an award." She remarks, an attempt at a joke.

More than annoyed at her comment, he looks confused, brow is raised as he returns with "Do we have anything to talk about?"

Madge scoffs, a shake of her head. "Do we have anything to talk about? Gale, we have a _lot_ to talk about! Serious conversations or not, we can't just go about ignoring each other."

She sees his brows knit together with a contemplating look pulling on his lips and peaking in his eyes. But he doesn't say anything, he keeps whatever comment is boiling inside of him hidden ( _perhaps this can be considered progress, too)_

"Okay." Madge breathes deeply. Gale doesn't move, just stands there looking at her, shoulders square and brow raised, as if pushing her to say more. She takes the moment of silence to brush her fingers through her hair, tossing it into a messy bun.

"The other day you mentioned how I don't have enough items for my child. For _our_ child. You haven't mentioned anything about it in the weeks you've been home except that, your critique of my preparation for impending parenthood." She scoffs, shaking her head, eyes rolling. "I mean, it's not like you were helping at all. You know, I asked you if we were going to put that crib together the day before your accident? You said, 'It'll get done, we'll do it closer to the birth so it doesn't collect dust.' word for word.

I know you can't _stand_ the fact that we're married and we're having a baby but this is reality. We're having a baby, Gale. In a little over four months there is going to be a small human that we created and we have to care for this child."

Her gaze doesn't break from his grey eyes, despite the confused expression that is so clear on his feature. Hand gingerly set on her stomach, she presses on.

"You know that most of the clothes in there are handed down for your friends from work? You recognize the rocking chair your mother gave us, I'm sure. Your friends and family have given us most of the stuff that we have." She says, it's not a question but her tone makes it sound as so. Madge doesn't wait for a response. She can't, if she hears the words he may say it would cause her unnecessary pain, she doesn't need anymore stress right now. It isn't healthy.

"This is your baby, too. I know it's hard for you to realize that, for you to accept what's going on. The last memory you have of me is probably you selling me strawberries, when you couldn't even stand to look at me. So, how in all of Panem could I be your wife? Could I be having your baby. That's what you're thinking, right?"

He doesn't need to say anything for Madge to know that she is right, because even though he doesn't understand her, she understands him. Gale's face has fallen, sullen, and he remains quiet. But he doesn't protest, he doesn't push her or yell at or, he listens.

Somewhere during her speech, her tone has gone from annoyed and angry, to soft and comforting. With one step forward, she rests her hand gingerly on his bicep.

"I don't care how you feel about me right now, Gale. I mean, of course I want you to love me again, but I can't force that on you. I don't want to force that on you. But I do know that even before you got to know the real me you were a good guy. You'll always be a good guy, it's just in your nature. You can't just sit around all day, wondering what's going on, who you are now, and what you're doing with your life." She feels his breath on her face, the slow breath as he swallows, breaking his gaze from her eyes and looking down at the floor. Madge ignores it, dropping her hand from his arm .

"I know it's eating at your insides, you feel so helpless. But, sweetheart, you've got to be that guy that I know you are. I don't know what you're going through, I don't know what it's like to lose memory of everything good that's happened to you in the last few years, but I want to help you. If not as your wife then as your friend. Can we at least try that for now?" Her head tips slightly, adjusting to look at his face that's still gazing at the grey carpet. His eyes, hell all of his features, wear a concerned look. it's a foreign look, one that took Madge a minute to recognize, because it was hidden for so long. It is the same look he would wear when he would go to the hob, or go out in the woods. It was the same look he wore when he'd go without something so that his little sister, his growing sister who needed more than him, could have a nice hot heaping bowl of soup.

This look causes Madge to realize that he is coming around, that he's starting to come to terms with the fact that she isn't lying. This realization brings those butterflies right back to her stomach. The feeling so much like the times she had so long ago back in District Twelve when she had first started talking to him. Hell, it was the same feeling she had when she had given him a piece of her mind.

But she still, not even with this realization, does not give him time to respond to the words that she is speaking.

"I called your family to come out here because I know that they can help you, too. Because, believe it or not, we've still got secrets from one another. Secrets of our past, the ugly secrets that we don't want the other to know about. They know more about you than I do. So, because I know you, I know that you're going to try. If not for me, or for our baby, than for them. For your brothers and sister, for your mother and even for Katniss, because she called the other day and wants to help you, too, even though she can't come out here. You have to try to accept this and move on, for all the people who care about you, and for yourself."

Something occurs in him, something that was so rare that there isn't a good way to describe it. He looks as if he's been defeated, almost, but not as if he were hurt or wounded. There wasn't anything that a person who has just been defeated would look like.

And then he nods. The sweet sound of his voice fills the room, and Madge's heart melts at the words he speaks.

"Everything is just so different. My sister is eleven, my brother is almost eighteen. Hell, Rory's out on his own with a girlfriend now, when last time I saw him he was crazy in love with Prim, even though he would never admit that, too shy I suppose." At that, he chuckles, and his shoulders shrug. "And then, look at where I live... I'm not in District Twelve anymore. I'm not a coal miner, that's what I was sure I would be doing for my entire life. And then, you're going to have a baby, Madge, my baby. I'm going to be a parent. And I just don't understand how any of this happened."

It is then that Madge smiles sadly, nodding, and remembering that even though she gave him to option to read about the rebellion, he hadn't. The confusion wearing in him was too clear a sign. Here he stands across from her, tall, dark, handsome, but also so lost and confused. But Gale wanted to know, he needed to know, without knowing Madge is sure he would never be able to move forward. The Gale that stands across from her now would be so overjoyed at the changes and the differences that were in Panem now, everyone was.

There's no more suffering, no more starving children, no more games. Things were as normal and as wonderful as they could be, as they should have always been.

So, when she asks Gale if he had read the pages, everything was reaffirmed. He said he was too tired, he'd look at the page and it was too exhausting to try and read the words on the papers, they all just blurred together. He'd only try when he was alone, and that was always after a mass amounts of nurses and doctors came in to examine him. It made a little bit of sense, she probably would have done the same thing.

With a smile she takes his hand and walks him into their bedroom, onto their bed where she sits down, legs crossed. She nods once and he sits across from her, and she gets a clear look at his face. It kills her The pain that's showing in his grey eyes, the way he's holding his head so loosely. She hadn't seen this side of Gale often, he was always so strong and bottled up his emotions well.

"You have to hear what happened, Gale. The rebellion against the capitol. Do you trust me enough to tell you?"

There's an apprehensive response, but he does agree to listen to her stories.

"Okay, good, I can't stand sitting around watching you be dazed and confused anymore." She concludes with a chuckle.

And with a deep breath, she dives in.

She tells him about the reaping, about how Prim was called and how Katniss volunteered.

She tells him about the Mockingjay pin, how she had visited Katniss and given it to her.

She tells him about Peeta's interview, about their Star Crossed lovers strategy in the game.

She tells him how they both came home – and how such an event caused so many uprisings in the districts.

She tells him about the Quarter Quell, about how they helped the Victors train, how he taught them about snared and she gave them all the newspapers she could.

With a heavy heart, she tells him about the bombing of District Twelve, tears pricking the corners of her eyes as she does.

She tells him all about thirteen, about him training and the work he did with Beetee.

She tells him, with tears now running down both of their faces, about every single person they cared about. About all the ones that died, and she almost bursts into sobs when she tells him about Prim.

With beaming pride, she tells him about the moment that Katniss shot Coin instead of Snow.

She tells him almost everything, almost every event that occurred since he last remembers.

What she doesn't tell him is anything about their relationship, nothing of how they got together. She doesn't tell him about the bombs he made and how he was convinced that it was because of him that Prim was killed.

She tells him what he needs to know, what she knows won't cause him any more pain. The entire time he doesn't interrupt what she says, he is completely intrigued and fascinated by the story. But also, she watches in front of her eyes how recounting the events causes his already broken heart to shatter in front of her.

When she is done, the look on his face is the one of someone who believes everything that he just heard.

He trusts her, she realizes. He doesn't have any reason to, because what he remembers she is simply the spoiled little mayors Daughter, the perfectly groomed little angel of the Capitol.

Despite it, though, he trusts her.

That was the beginning of their relationship Madge recalls, when he told her that he trusted her to walk Prim home from school and he trusted her to be a friend to her.

That was the clearest step in the right direction that Madge had ever seen. The path, through bumpy and winding, was completely clear of any debris, and she could feel her heart flutter in her chest.

* * *

 **authors note:** sorry for the delay in posting this,both the release of Rouge One my mind's been on Star Wars. Today, though, the news of Carrie Fisher's death caused me to need something to distract myself; she was a role model that moved me dearly and her death has really taken a toll on me. I hope my sad brain didn't miss any errors when editing this. If so, please let me know! This chapter is a bit shorter than normal and I didn't want to end it there, but it was the best place to do so. Enjoy some Gale progress, because he's my presh. hunter cupcake. - kota.


	6. chapter six

**CHAPTER SIX - RIVERS AND ROADS**

" _Nothin' is as it has been, and I miss your face like hell_

 _And I guess it's just as well… But I miss your face like hell_

 _Been talking about the way things change, and my family lives in a different state"_

 _Rivers and Roads, The Head and the Heart_

Standing with a light smile and a nod of her head, she prepares to leave the room and allow Gale space to gather his mind and get some rest after the revelation of the last few years. She stops in her tracks when Gale's deep tenor breaks through to her ear drums.

"Madge..." Much to Madge's surprise, as he speaks her name, such a simple thing, his voice seems nervous and almost pleading. Her tongue licks her top lip as she turns slowly, cautiously. For a brief second she thinks that perhaps telling him everything that has happened over that past six years, at least the things that affected how our country was run, would have sparked some sort of memory in him. Maybe as she spoke, it triggered the subconscious and he actually remember everything, or at the very least, something that could have triggered a remembrance of their relationship. Or of anything, really.

Of course, though, she was wrong. That was not the case. The majority of the time anything that she had hoped for had been incorrect the last few days. She doesn't let the disappointment in her false hope show, though, because the soft words he does speak, locking his grey eyes with her weren't as horrible as it could have back. In fact, it couldn't have been better. It was a step, no, even more so, it was a leap in the right direction.

He whispers, four words that she didn't think he ever would say, four words that sounded like that of a die hard romantic,. "Tell me our story."

Madge's lips roll together to hide the smile tugging at the corners of her lips, head nods once as she pulls her legs into her chest, arms resting atop her knees.

"Yeah.. Um, okay, where to begin." She says hesitantly, pushing a fallen lock of blonde hair behind her ear. She bites on the inner corner of her bottom lip, eyes looking down at the bed spread while she ponders her options. Their story was her favorite story, the one that she would tell to anyone who would listen. What can she say? Madge Undersee-Hawthorne is a hopeless romantic. Her eyes look up to meet his grey, and she finds her voice.

"Well, it started with the mayors daughter. And then one day her dearest and only friend was whisked away on a capitol train." She states the obvious, the things he already knows, for little reason other than to her, he asked for their story. The story that she holds so dear to her heart, and it is not one that can be told by taking shortcuts. He needed to hear the entire thing from her point of view. "And then, the next day, her life changed when she met up with the handsome hunter named Gale in the meadow. And slowly, she somehow fell in love."

 _The crisp wind whips her hair around her face as she strides through the field grass, the thin blades scratching across her smooth skin. She curses herself, wondering what made her think wearing one of her dresses into the hidden meadow of District Twelve would have been a good idea, especially in this harsh wind. She curses herself for even trekking out here, as if it would make her feel less alone, or make things hurt less._

 _Her arms are crossed against her chest as she trudges along, and as she walks she also questions what in her mind made her think it was a good idea to hunt him down in general. She knows that he was far closer to Katniss then she would ever be. Even though it was horrible that she lost her only friends to the terrors of the capitol, she'd never know the pain that he was feeling. But for some reason, she felt obliged to find him, to make sure that he's okay._

 _She recalls that he's a hunter so she's sure her footsteps is what causes him to turn._

 _"Hi." She speaks quietly, it wasn't spoken in a whisper, but the winds around her make it so that the simple word is barely audible. "I wanted to see if you were okay."_

 _She doesn't expect much from him, the two have barely spoken and if they did it was a snide comment here or there; or something regarding the selling of strawberries._

 _He scowls at that, pulling the bag that's sitting over his shoulder tighter, causing it to slide up his back slightly. "I'm fine. I've got families to feed." And with that statement, he walks off in the same direction the blonde had came from. She rolls her eyes, exhaling deeply with a shake of her head. She stands in the spot, not turning to watch him stroll away, but watching the wind whip the leaves of the trees in the distance around. Moments later, she's turning in the same direction, and heading back to her own hone, a defeated look playing on her brow._

 _-x-x-x-_

 _"Hey, Prim!" The cheerful voice calls out, almost running to catch up to the younger girl. "I was wondering if you'd want to come over a little after school. I could help you with your homework, or I could show you my piano." She offers with a twist of her waist, nudging the girls shoulder with own while wearing an optimistic smile._

 _The little girl is hesitant to accept the offer, and she can't be blamed. It's as if everything in her life had just been turned upside down, everything had been thrown at such a young and innocent girl at one time. Madge assumes that Prim wants to go home and have as many normal things as she can._

 _"It'll be fun. I can even walk you home afterwards." The words are spoken with a reassuring tone, leaning to her side biting on her friendly smile._

 _Without receiving an immediate response, she begins to feel as if the offer was going to be rejected, and she doesn't want to push the girl out of her comfort zone, so she simply shrugs and explains her actions. "I figured with Katniss away you'd want someone to keep you company, but if you have something else to do we can do it another time._

 _There's a moment of an almost uncomfortable silence between the two, and Madge was now almost certain that the youngest Everdeen was going to decline the offer. She inhales slowly, opening her mouth to excuse herself when she watches Prim nod nervously, hesitantly. Madge feels a wave of relief crash upon her nerves. "So, I'll meet you after school, out front, okay?"_

Prim licks her bottom lip, adjusting her book in her arm as she smiles in response "Okay, y _eah. I might have to talk to my teacher for a minute about one of my assignments, I didn't quite understand the homework yesterday, but that shouldn't take to long." There's almost a hint of excitement in her words, which causes the smile on the elder girls face to grow slightly. She felt as if she was doing something to help Katniss now, ensuring her sister was safe and happy, and it brought a bright comfort to her tone._

 _"Good. Now get to class, before I feel bad about making you late." Her words are spoken through a chuckle, and Madge pats the girls shoulder before stepping off in the direction of her own class._

 _But as she hears her named called after only five steps away, she stops in her tracks. It wasn't the vibrant tone of young Prim, but that of a stern male. It was that of Gale Hawthorne's._

 _"What the hell are you doing?" He all but growls at her, a scowl on his brow._

 _There's a slightly irritated sigh as the blonde shifts her weight from her left foot to her right, holding her books against her chest with a roll of her eyes. "I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about."_

 _His head tilts in the direction that the twelve year old blonde was scampering off in, "You playing nice with Prim. What's that all about."_

 _Madge laughs, head shaking as she purses her lips into a thin line. Her reaction is almost as if what he was saying were some sort of comedic attempt. He held himself so high and mighty, Madge wanted to kick him because it was just so infuriating. She knows he's doing it out of a place of caring, but still, the statement rubbed her the wrong way._

 _"Gale, I know this is hard for you to believe, but I do actually care about people other than myself. Katniss isn't just your friend, but mine as well, remember. Frankly, don't see the issue with me offering to help entertain her sister while she isn't here. I figure that she would want that, wouldn't you? "_

 _There's no reaction to her words, his face is flat and his tone just the same. "That so? You didn't care about it before."_

 _"I didn't think much about it before." Her demeanor changed with those few words, a flash of guilt in her eyes. Her words are so quiet she isn't sure anyone even heard that. It was true, that she hadn't thought much about the young blonde before she watched her sister volunteer to fight for her death in place of her – but she didn't do much with Katniss other than eat lunch with her. "But that shouldn't matter because I'm doing it now. I hope that you trust that I do care."_

 _And something that comes as a large surprise happens with those words, he simply shakes his head, mumbles something she couldn't make out, and walks off in the direction of his own lesson. Madge smiles triumphantly._

 _-x-x-x-_

 _Prim invited her inside for a moment, and Madge felt it rude to decline the invitation. So, she stood in the small Everdeen home, arms crossed against her chest hoping to cover the awkward stance she found herself in. The colors were dark, the only light in the room coming from a small lamp on the table and the window across the room, but somehow it felt more like a home than her grand home in Town had. She felt out of place, but for some reason, it also felt as if it were right. She just wanted to rid herself of her bright dresses and perfectly combed hair that made her stick out like a sore thumb and sport something more like the others in the home wore. She felt uncomfortable looking so dressed up. She looked perfectly groomed, not a flaw on her body, whereas those in this home looked completely natural. Neutral colors and messily tied hair, and bruises marking where they had accidentally walked into things or tripped, or whatever it was that caused bruises. If Madge got a bruise she had to wear a longer dress or a cardigan to cover it, her father wanted her to look presentable at any moment._

 _Gale came in moments later as she awkwardly stands in the center of the room, waiting for her younger friend. The look he gave her didn't go unnoticed. It turns out that her speech that morning hadn't pushed as much reassurance into him as she had thought. She'll have to try harder to prove to him that she isn't a stubborn child who cares only about herself and her own beauty._

 _So the next time she walked with Prim home, she wore a pair of old jeans and a simple shirt. And every time she thought she might see him after that, save for school where she was told by her father that she, unfortunately, had appearances to keep up. She had to prove to Gale Hawthorne that she is worthy of friendship from "normal" people._

 _But, she can't help question, why does she care about his opinion so much?_

 _-x-x-x-_

 _It was a few days later that the two had their next encounter, Madge was talking with Prim about one of her history assignments and the conversation was far more uncomfortable than either would admit. They were standing in the square, near the front of the viewing screen, and trying their best to act as if they weren't completely and utterly nervous about the event tonight. Scores were a big thing. If Katniss didn't pull a well enough score, she wouldn't get sponsors. And even worse, she'd probably be maimed by the careers._

 _The Hawthorne family joins them right as the viewing starts, and when Katniss' eleven flashes on the screen, the entire district goes wild. Madge's knees bend and she almost jumped, hands reaching her mouth to cover the growing girl and muffle the yelp of excitement that escapes her._

 _Their eyes lock, excitement and pride beaming in their eyes, and in that moment both of them realized how much they were going to need each other. because as much as their families cared about Katniss, no one understood how hard it was to watch a friend go through the games unless they're in the same shoes._

 _An awkward conversation after the viewing leads to the two of them deciding that anything that had happened between them was to be forgotten. They weren't going to dwell on past things said. Because they needed the support from each other._

 _They watch the interviews together with the Everdeen family, much as they had for the scores last evening. For Madge the entire event is filled with an awkward silence. The smile when Katniss talks about Prim- cringe a bit with Fraser's comments about trying to win._

 _And then she's gone and all Madge can think about as Peeta comes out onto the stage is Katniss' gorgeous dress and how stunning she looked. She didn't look like Katniss, almost as if she wasn't comfortable in her own skin._

 _She half listens to Peeta and Ceaser conversing about his love life and the girls back home. Her eyes dart around at everyone else she's surrounded by and they don't seem to be as interested in this part either._

 _Until the family collectively gasps at his confession. Madge is wide eyed, but not confused. Minutes later they're dispersing and Gale is wearing a face of pure scorn. Madge swallows, arms crossed over her chest nervously as she states "Didn't see that one coming."_

" _Yeah." He scoffs in response. "It's ridiculous. He can't like her."_

" _Why do you say that?" she questions with a hint of hurt in her voice, for a reason she can't determing, brow furrowed in confusion._

 _He purses his lips, shaking his head while running his fingers messily through his hair, and stating blandly after a short exhale.. "Because he doesn't even know her."_

 _Madge nods once, taking his reasons in. "True. But can you really blame him for having a crush on her? Like he said - a lot of boys do. She's katniss, shes brave and her own person. She wears her head high on her shoulders and does what she needs to do. Plus, she's absolutely stunning."_

" _Don't tell me you have a thing for Katniss, too." his words are spoken lightly, a twinkle in his eye that Madge had never seen before. Is Gale Hawthorne joking with her?_

" _No," her head shakes, chuckling through her words and looking at her feet, causing her bangs to fall across her brow. "I'm just able to recognize the reason that others may feel an attraction towards her. She's a breathtaking young woman."_

" _That she is." A large smile pulls at his lips, a look of pride and a look of love on his face, which causes a light grin at the corner of Madge's lips. Seeing people's beaming pride in others always caused a smidge of joy within her._

" _I wouldn't worry too much about it." Madge concludes with a nonchalant shrug._

 _Gale raises a brow, light confusion brushing his eyes, the expression itself questions why she believes this. Madge, continuing with her theory, adds on "Katniss doesn't feel that way about Peeta."_

 _Gadge exhales, a confused grin taking place of his smile, "You two talk about that sort of thing?"_

 _Madge purses her lips, shaking her head once more. "No. We don't talk about the cliche female talk, But it's Katniss." She pauses, hoping to add a dramatic effect. "She doesn't think about anyone like that."_

 _The two share one last awkward chuckle before parting for the evening._

 _-x-x-x_

 _The rule change takes them all by surprise. Neither of them commented on it, though, because Peeta was injured and no one thought he was going to make it._

 _Madge doesn't hide the light smile, though she knows she probably should have, at Katniss devotion to helping heal Peeta. She may be her mother's daughter yet._

 _They share a brief glimpse at each other and Madge winced when she sees the change in his demeanor the second katniss gives Peeta a small kiss. She can almost see his heart shattering right in front of her eyes, and she hates it. In just a few short days she has come to treasure Gale's friendship and seeing ths and this stab of pain race through his eyes hurts her in a way that she can't describe._

 _He walks off slowly, inconspicuously._

 _But she notices. While the rest of Panem is basking in the love and glory of the romance of Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, Madge Undersee is following, in an attempt to console and comfort, Gale Hawthorne. Perhaps one of the few people who really understands Katniss, one of the people's whose soul she has touched._

" _I thought you said she didn't think about Peeta like that?" Gale states, darkly. He must have known she was following him._

" _I really didn't think she did; maybe being in that Arena sparked something. You heard them talking…. We all did." Madge says skeptically, her left hand rubbing nervously across her right arm._

" _Yeah." Is all Gale says, eyes locking with the mud on the ground. He kicks a small pebble gently, skidding it into the fence. The light pop as it hits it is the only thing that they hear for a while._

" _It's going to be okay, Gale." Madge says gently after several minutes pass. With three strides she's standing next to him, her hand tentatively placed on his arm. "She's gonna need you still when she comes home. Just listen to her, what she has to say. The arena… it changes people. Things might be different when they get back."_

 _He looks at her with no emotion in his face, but his lack of response makes Madge think that she may have struck something within him._

 _X-x-x-_

 _Madge knew that when Katniss came home things would be different. She started spending less time with Gale and more time with the two Everdeen sisters. She concludes such events occur because he's now working in the mines six days a week, and Katniss' funds from being a Victor have made it so that she has a plethora of free time on her hands._

 _One day, though, after the Victory Tour and the arrival of Commander Thread, Madge looks out the window of her home in Town to see commotion running wild. She tries to tell herself to stay indoors - not get involved. But her curiosity gets the best of her, clad in winter boots and a dark hat, she stays in the shadows long enough to see Gale Hawthorne being whipped. The sounds of him in pain brings an itch in the back of her throat tears on the brim of her eyes. It's a feeling similar to every time she watched Katniss in the games, when she was wincing in pain because of the tracker jackers, or when she was cut with Clove's knife._

 _Madge hated her friends being in pain._

 _She watches as Katniss intervenes and she inwardly beats herself up for not stepping in herself, not stepping in sooner. She closes her eyes tightly, listening to the conversation in front of her, but letting the single tear run down her cheek._

 _She doesn't hesitate to run back to her house. She's at her mother's side in an instant, tears streaming down her cheeks as she talks about what she had just witnessed. She almost feels guilty about doing it this way, but not enough to stop. She has to help him, she wants to help him. She's taken it as her job, as a duty to the odd friendship that she has formed with the young man from the seam._

 _She hands a shattered woman the medication she'd taken from her mother with no explanation, and then she runs back to her house with a small blanket of comfort over her. Madge Undersee would do anything to protect her friends, anything to keep their friendship._

 _-x-x-x_

"It wasn't quick, it wasn't something that happened the next day, you know? We didn't fall in love over night. There was no long gaze over the meadow and we knew we were going to be together forever; It was like... a year long thing. It started with an awkward friendship, which turned into a less-awkward friendship and then it was an awkward romance, and then a normal romance, anyway…. " Madge explains, her lips pressed together as she looks down at her hands held together in her lip. "The point is, we were friends first, we were there for each other when we needed it. Sometimes, I would go to your house for dinner with your family because your little sister adored me, I mean who can blame her, and well, that's really all that there was to it for a while. It wasn't until right after Katniss left again, for the Quarter Quell that things really started to change. At least for me, anyway. I can't tell you exactly when you realized I wasn't just that annoying friend from town, but I would guess it was around the same time? You and I were never really ones to talk about feelings."

Her shoulders shrug nonchalantly, a half smile on her face as she glances over towards him. He doesn't show any emotion on his face, but then again, Madge can't think of a time before they were together that he really did exhibit any emotions. What did she expect, truly? He isn't that same guy, but he isn't exactly that different. Regardless, though, seeing him so blank and unreadable does tear at her heart strings just a bit. More than that, she feels like someone is tearing her heart right out of her chest, and this isn't the only instance that she's felt like this. It's been a recurring thing for days.

He doesn't say anything, not for a while. But after a few minutes of silence, she hears a grunt from his lips Not an irritated grunt, though, it almost as if it was an understanding grunt. _Is that a thing?_

It has to be, understanding is the first step to acceptance, right?

She sees in his eyes that he understands what has happened, and that fact alone causes a sheepish smile to pull over her features, but it only lasts a second, as she comes to realize that she probably looks like a dork. With a soft exhale, a lick of the top of her lip, she places her hand gingerly on his knee. "So... you think can we be friends again Gale?"

"We weren't friends immediately before." His words were spoken monotone, just like everything else about him. She wants to scream: He'd always been so infuriating when it came to these kind of things. But she takes a breath, calming herself and telling herself to look at the big picture. Only, Madge isn't able to read between the lines. It's frustrating, that she isn't able to figure out what he means, so she takes the words as she wants them to be taken. Just a simple statement.

"No, we weren't." The words are spoken slowly through a short nod in agreement. "But, we also are no longer teenagers and we aren't living horrible lives anymore. We've got good jobs and steady income, we're adults. For now, we're married, and we're expecting a baby. We can't afford to be petty and spiteful"

He gives a short hum of acquiescence in reply. He hasn't spoken much lately, and she's finding herself missing that playful banter Hell, she even misses the insults he would throw her way way back when, before they became friends and before they could tease each other without it getting to the point of offense.

Her lip rolls through her teeth as she nods, pushing a blonde lock behind her ear, speaking through a low exhale. "Okay, then." And that ends the conversation for their evening. She claps her hands on her knee and stands slowly, mumbling a good night as she walks out of the room and closes the door behind her.

It's a few days later when she's sitting cross legged on the floor (It wasn't the most comfortable situation, were she being honest) grading papers next to Posy who was working avidly at a project she was assigned in school. Gale was laying on the couch with some handbook from work, where he was planning to return to in two weeks time, consuming all his attention while Vick sat at his feet examining a wooden toy that he had carved and his Mother across the room knitting some random item Madge couldn't identify if she tried.

The silence that they say in was a comfortable one, the conversation on how the day went they shared over supper had died down since nothing interesting seemed to happen lately. Madge is the only person at work right now, and Vick and Posy are only working on assignments and not actively attending school while

they were in District Two, though it's clear that eleven year old Posy is much more invested in her education than Vick, as Madge can't recall ever seeing him work on an assignment since he'd arrived.

Posy is the one to break the silence, and she does so as Madge flips a page over and bites down on the top of her pen. The teacher is completely immersed in the essay she's been going over that she barely hears her soft voice say her name.

She looks up and tosses her head to the side slightly to move her hair out of her face. "Yeah?" The reply is simple, but it does match the younger girls gentle and curious tone.

"Have you picked a name for your baby yet?" The question, like her voice, is so innocent, but it still takes Madge by surprise.

She allows herself a second to recover, now noticing that everyone in the room has stopped what they were doing and has taken an interest in the conversation. She clears her throat and tries to answer truthfully, she tries not to show the shock that is running through her at the question that's in her voice. "Well, we have a few ideas now but since we don't know if we're having a boy or a girl there hasn't been a final name decided on just yet."

She nods in reply, chewing on her bottom lip. Madge thinks that's going to be the end of it so she adjusts herself to go back to reading the essay, but is interrupted but another airy tone question. "What do you think you're going to have? I bet you're going to have a girl because you have a small stomach and girls are smaller than boys."

Her logic causes a chuckle from everyone and Madge shakes her head slight. "I kind of feel like it's a girl, but not because it's small. Although, Posy, you do have a very good point. I think it's going to be a girl because that's how It's always worked in my family. MY dad had a sister before he was born, and obviously I was born a girl, so I just think it's a family pattern. Undersee's have girls first."

"But, there were three boys before Mom had a girl, so shouldn't' that be a factor?" She counters with a playful smile.

"Maybe, yeah." Madge replies with a chortle. "Then we'll just say that it is my motherly intuition."

"Okay." She accepts. "So, what name do you have picked out for your little girl?"

Madge doesn't' get a chance to answer the question before Gale's deep voice penetrates the room for the first time that night, he doesn't look up from the book as he speaks, but every eye is on him.

"Rose Grace. Well, actually, Grace is the middle name I want. I'm still trying to sell Madge on that one." He adds the end with a chuckle and a tip of his head.

No one moves for a second, the look of shock is wearing so clear on their faces but they stare at him so confused. And in one swift go, every one turns to look at Madge, seeking confirmation in what Gale had just said.

She smiles offering a nod because he was right. That was exactly right, Gale wanted to name their daughter Rose, because he had felt the need to honor Prim, because he felt horrible for what had happened even though he and Katniss both agreed that that period of tie where they'd placed the blame on him was absolutely ridiculous. Prim was like one of his own siblings on top of it all, he loved her and wanted her to be remembered. But he also wanted his daughter to be her own person, she didn't want her to feel like she had to be Prim, so they had selected "Rose" (because Prim was named Primrose, and Rose was a very lovely flower anyway).

But, the part that caused the most shock was the fact that he liked the name Grace. (Madge was hesitant on that name, but she can't put her finger on it. There was something that she couldn't place but it caused a strange stir within her. She hadn't met anyone with the name Grace anywhere in their name, not that she can recall anyway. ) Gale said that he likes the name because it means a blessing, and that was exactly what he viewed their child as. The meaning behind the name was something that Madge did enjoy, this baby was a blessing, she still couldn't get on board with the middle name Grace.

Posy is, once again, to break the silence. Typical Posy, tone so casual as if the words just spoken weren't a huge deal. "It's pretty." She states with a smile. "I like it. Madge, you really should listen to Gale because Grace is a really good name for a baby girl." And with that, she went back to working on her project.

Gale has gone back to reading his book and everyone slowly goes back to their respective projects, not sure how to react to the fact that Gale actually knows what one of he names they had chosen were. It's not like he had been thinking about what he was going to name his kids since he was seven, he wasn't sure that he wanted kids for a while because of where they lived. And, even if it was something that he thought about, Madge was sure he wasn't planning on honoring the braves, sweetest, little girl anyone had ever met.

Everything felt as if it was falling right into place as everyone parts for the night. Gale's beginning to understand everything, he's begun to trust Madge, and now she is beginning to get the feeling that slowly his memories are starting to fall back into place. Its a little thing, sure. It was after all just a name, that was all it was. But the little pieces can falling to place slowly, and then as litle things fall in place, the big picture would finish.

She smiles inwardly, this was the first step to restoring their loving relationship. She was starting to feel hope.

In spite of it all, she still confronts Gale. There's that voice inside her head that says otherwise, the one that she really wants to tell to shut up and stop being such a buzzkill, but she doesn't, she can't.

"Hey." Her voice is soft and quiet, and she swallows hard and visible when he looks up. "How did you know? About the name, I mean."

He shrugs, it's almost as if he thought his was something minor, like it was remembering his favorite color. "I don't know. I just did, I didn't even mean to say it, but Posy asked and I knew the answer, and I hadn't been much help to her over the last years with her being there and me being here, and I kind of wanted to do something for her, even though it was just answering a simple question. It just sort of came out."

Madge nods, but is still slightly confused. "Oh, well. I mean, everyone is happy with our choices. With us living here and your family there. I mean, sometimes it's hard to be away from them but this is where we need to be.

"I know. I can tell that they're all happy, and I mean, obviously we are, too. Or at least we were."

Her face falls and head tilts slightly. "You're not happy? Well, you could have fooled me. I saw the way you smiled tonight during dinner. I mean, you didn't say much, but still. And then every other night since your family has gotten here you've been simply radiant Gale, and when the guys from the center come round to talk to you you enjoy their company, you laugh with them. So, that's not happy?"

His head shakes as he swallows, almost as if he was swallowing back tears. "I'm happy if they're happy. That's how it's always been and I doubt that will ever change. But, hell, Madge, I'm so confused. Everything is just so different and I don't know how to take all of this in. I'm so damn confused."

She offers a sympathetic smile and steps forward to gingerly places her hand on his arm, an attempt to comfort him, even though it was a slight gesture. "Yeah, I know, it sucks."

They exchange a glance, much like the brief ones that she held close to her heart that they shared before they moved here. When things were awesome, and it causes another twinge of hope in her gut, but she shoves it to the side with her words. "Why don't you get some sleep? I have a check up appointment tomorrow, just a routine thing and it's nothing major, but well, if you wanted to come you are welcome to."

They say their good nights and he head to bed before she does. There's so much on her mind that even if she did lay down she wouldn't be able to sleep, so she lets him go off on his own. She grabs her work folder, sitting down at the kitchen table after grabbing a glass of milk. She needs to focus on grading these papers, because since the accident she has gotten about two days behind on her work and the piles seem to be growing at an extreme rate. She tries to focus, but her mind keeps wandering to Gale.

And, it wasn't really a bad thing. He's improving, it was such an obvious face. It had been a week now, they had fallen into a route and they weren't really getting comfortable with it, but it was working. Well, at least, Madge wasn't comfortable with it. She misses the warm embrace of him at night, his gentle kisses and callused hands on her stomach when they say on the couch at night. She misses the sound of his laugh when she would do or say something utterly stupid, and she misses his smile. The way he would light up when he saw her come home from work or on the weekends when they would lounge around the house and enjoy one another's company. She missed talking about their baby and spitting out the random ideas that they have for how they were going to raise their kid. Most of all, though, she misses Gale.

It had been so great for Madge and him to have his family there, to have them help her cope with it. She still gets to see his smile and a few bits of pieces of the Gale that so few have gotten to see. He was actually happy more parts of the day than he wasn't, and that was such a wonderful thing to Madge. That's all she wanted, that was all anyone could really want for the person that they love more than anything in the world. But she misses being the one to make him happy, and she knows that that is totally selfish of her. Eyes close tightly, rubbing as the thought creep back into her mind. Almost as if closing her eyes will just push it all away.

She has tried so hard to make Gale comfortable here, to make him accept her as a friend. And they were making progress, but damn it she wanted more than that. She wanted her to love him again, and she wanted it right now. She knows inside that it won't happen overnight, it didn't happen like that before. She knows that it could take a year like before, or maybe even longer.

She hated it.

She absolutely, positively, despised it. But no one ever said she had to like it, she just had to deal with it.

* * *

 **authors note:** this was originally written as two chapters, but after re-writing it I couldn't find a place to split them that seemed to flow and didn't end one chapter being super short, so here you go. Here's a longer chapter for you guys! Thank you for bearing with me on the slow updates. The editing is just a brief skim as I haven't had much time to sit down and read over this lately, so please let me know if you see any mistakes.


	7. chapter seven

**CHAPTER SEVEN - THE RECIPE TO MAKE YOU SMILE**

" _I bet you don't curse God, when you're dying in bed about to take your one last breath_

 _And you're holding on before you say goodnight. There's pain, life hurts_

 _There's a thousand things You think you don't deserve. "_

\- _I Bet You Don't Curse God, Christina Grimmie_

She flips through her book, leaning back in the chair as she waits for the doctor to come in and proceed with her checkup. It was one of the things that Madge was rather thankful for with the move to District Two. She didn't have the privilege of these sorts of checkup back home in Twelve.

She glances sideways just enough to remind herself that she's not alone. That Gale sits next to her, looking down at his interlocked fingers. There's just a tint of awkwardness in the air, she can't deny that nor is she surprised by it, but there is not bearly as much as in the past few weeks since they had come home from the hospital.

She can't help but wonder the reason why Gale is here with her. Perhaps it was simply because he wanted to get out of the house. After all, he hasn't really left it since he was released. But in her heart there is the twinge of hope that he cares for her, for their little child.

She closes her book when the Doctor strides in and they exchange their normal small talk, simply conversation and she checks over Madge and he growing baby to make sure that things are progressing normally as they should.

"Alright Madge." She says in her normal, slightly over he top but still wonderful, cheerful voice once everything was said and done. "Everything looks A-Okay, thankfully." Those words get a nod from Madge, accompanied with a gentle smile.

"Your blood pressure was a little high, nothing to be too concerned about right now, but try to take it easy a bit and eat as well as you can. Minimize the sweets and try to stray as best you can from anything that will cause any unnecessary stress, I know how hard that will be for you given your situation but try your best, okay, kiddo?"

Madge nods once more at her directions, a wave of nerves coming through her body as she spoke. Madge had been nothing but a worried case of stress lately, she couldn't seem to think of a way to rid that. The doctor smiles regardless and looks over to Gale, ignoring the look on Madge's face. "Gale, I know she's stubborn so make sure she stays away from the chocolate and no more bringing work home. When she's at home she shouldn't be worrying about papers, she needs to be focusing on herself and your kid."

"Of course, maybe with both of us _and_ my family on her she'll listen." He gives a nod and there's a slight joking tone in his words as he speaks them.

Madge smiles, though she tries to hide it as she rolls her eyes. "I can listen very well, thank you very much." She's got a smile on her face, though, and it can be heard through her words. The normalcy of the situation makes her day skyrocket from normal to fabulous.

"Sure." Gale says with a light chuckle.

That causes him to earn a glare from Madge as she stands and thanks the doctor.

As they head towards their home, she can't help but think about what changed in the atmosphere during ht appointment. When they had listen to the steady thumping of the baby's heart, to be exact. Every time they had heard it or when they had the first sonogram, it was such an amazing experience, something that words would never be able to describe, no one can know what it feels like until they hear it for themselves. In that moment, Gale's demeanor changed. He wasn't sitting awkwardly, he was interested in what was happening. He didn't ask any questions like he did at the appointment before everything happened, but that didn't matter to her anymore. Her lips purse together as the thoughts swirl through her brain in an attempt to hide the dorkish grin that is now on her face.

Things have been progressing really well for Gale. He'd remembered the name they have chosen for their child, he was warming up to Madge and it appeared that he was starting to become invested in said child's life. And she thinks that she has his family to thank for that, but she can't be sure. Perhaps that's just him.

The other day when Madge was at work, Gale stayed home with his brother and sister Hazelle went and ran the errands that Madge needed to get done, since she hadn't wanted to interrupt the bonding time between her children. Madge suspects this was what happened, at least, because when she arrived home and went to start making a list of the things that she needed, the pantry was fully stocked. The laundry was even done for her, which she can't really defend herself for the surprise it caused, she should have know that one would have happened. Since that day Gale's been talking more, he hasn't really given her any looks or the scowl that he used to and it had just been absolutely wonderful.

Gale must have noticed the grin that she's trying to hide because he pulls he out of her thoughts a few moments later by saying her name.

Her eyes glance up at him as she hums softly "Yeah."

"We should do something. You know, instead of sitting at home." He is speaking softly, the words he's speaking muse be slightly uncomfortable for him. His hands are shoved in his pockets and won't make eye contact with Madge.

"Okay." She nods. "We can run home and grab your family, then take them out to the clearing and have a picnic or something. I'm sure they're probably going a little stir crazy, our house isn't the biggest and they can't run around outside like they'd do back home."

"No." Head shakes just slightly. "Just us, I think we should probably talk about everything, how this is going to work. When you have the baby it's going to need it's room back and stuff."

She's taken aback, just slightly, by his words, but she nods nonetheless."Kay, are you hungry or anything? I had something to eat before we left so I'm fine, but we can stop by the bakery and get something if you want."

He shrugs and Madge rolls her eyes. Typical.

About half an hour later she's led him to the clearing and they are sitting on the edge of a rock, looking at at the line of trees and the sun peeking just over their leaves. There's another family here, they're people that she's never seen before. They have two kids, Madge notes. Little girls who look to be twins, and they're running around their parents who lay on a blanket starting at the sky. This is a popular place to come for picnics when the weather is nice, like it was out at that moment There's a slight breeze that's blowing her hair into her face but she doesn't have anything to tie it back with so her hands keep brushing it away from her face.

They sit in a silence, one that is oddly comfortable, while watching the leaves blow around and listen to the cheerful laughter of the little girls before Gale breaks the silence.

"When is my family leaving again?"

She doesn't know, they hadn't talked about how long they would be staying, but her assumption is they would probably have to get back soon. They had been there for a while and the kids aren't able to miss that much school. She, she shrugs "I dunno, they didn't exactly let me in on their plans."

He simply nods, giving a gentle "Oh." in response. Neither of them know what to say for a minute so silence overcomes them until he's the first to speak again.

"I proposed out here. You were sitting right where you are now, at sunset. You were wearing a white dress, one kind of like the one you wore on that reaping day. My favorite one."

Madge's jaw drops in shock and she turns to him, at a loss for words.

"I told you how much you meant to me, how you made everything easier. When Katniss was in the game, when we weren't talking, how you brought me back with my best friend. I told you how you were my rock and that I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. You were more than anything I had ever imagined for myself."

A faint smile takes her lips and his eyes are dropped to the grass while his elbows rest on he knees, leaning forward slightly and twirling his fingers through a thin blade of grass. His words soft, almost with a hint of sadness.

"You did. And afterwards I told you that you were insane for being as nervous as you were, because I love you more than than I've ever loved another living human being before. More than you probably deserved for probably being such an ass to me when we were growing up."

He chuckles at that, and she catches a glimpse of the smile that takes his face, the genuine one reaching his eyes, as he looks up. But it's only a glimpse as his face falls and he speaks again. "I wish I could remember what everything was. How I came to fall in love with you and how I actually felt."

Once again Madge finds herself smiling sympathetically, the familiar itching in the back of her throat indicating she is on the verge of crying sharpening through her simple "Me, too." She speaks so quietly, though, an attempt to hide the sadness that's rushing through her like she were standing in a river.

They stay there for a while, sitting in silence and then discussing what's going to happen when their baby arrives. She reminds him that there's still 15 weeks before her due date and things can always change by then, but he doesn't seem to agree. He's always been stubborn. It's exactly where they were when they got there, nothing has been decided and it almost seemed like a waste of a trip.

But then she remembers that he remembered something else, and that was always a good sign. Things were improving still. Sure, he doesn't remember much and he likely won't regain all his memories, but a few key things here and there was better than nothing at all.

That night after everyone was in bed and they're about to retire for the night, she sets her book down on the table, she kisses his temple before walking out of their room to the bed that had been setup for her in the room next to hers. She lays down with her hand resting on her baby bump, her thoughts filled with hopeful things. She truly believes that by the time their baby is born, Gale will remember enough that they can be a happy family, something that the both of them have always wanted.

* * *

 **authors note:** moving sucks. adulting sucks. i suck at editing and posting in a timely manner. BUT we've only got... 5 more chapters until the end, hopefully we'll get them posted before I start Camp NaNoWriMo. I'll try my best! I'm moving into my first apartment, working two jobs, and hanging out with my cool cat boyfriend who lets me rant about nerdy things and still likes me. you guys can nag me on twitter darthkota if you want chapters sooner. i check that a lot ahah


	8. chapter eight

**CHAPTER EIGHT - STILL WON'T FIND A PLACE AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU.**

 _"_ _I'd give it all up if I can't be with you. All of this stuff sucks if I can't be with._

 _The sun don't_ _shine, the sky ain't blue if I can't be with you."_

 _\- If I can't be with you, R5_

Two days later, and Madge is helping the young Posy prepare their dinner, though she was hesitant at first to let her cook for all of them. Somehow, though, Posy wore Madge down and she caved. There had been something about a great argument being given and wanting to show Gale how much she had grown up, because he's still treating her as if she were a four-year-old girl, and _she's not_. It's hard for both of them. And, in Madge's defense, she is a bit of a pushover when it comes to her sister in law.

They aren't preparing anything extravagant, simple pasta noodles and red sauce (Pasta was apparently a big thing for Gale's family, Madge recalls. One of his favorite dishes), and Posy is only eleven years old so it's simple enough for her to make. Madge has taken to helping her cut the vegetables Posy has selected to have with it, and she doesn't complain; because having a night off from preparing somewhat edible meals was something that didn't happen often.

They're making small conversation, Madge leans against the counter with her elbows propped so she can nibble on a slice of onion and Posy stirs the sauce to prevent it from burning while the water boils.

Madge is midway through her sentence saying about what happened with one of her students, when she is interrupted by the pounding sound of Vick's feet coming into the kitchen at a very fast walk – Gale only trailing by a few steps. Posy jumps excitedly for a wooden spoon at their sight and dishes a small amount onto the spoon.

"Gale! Try this!"

No one can miss the skeptical look on his face as he leans forward to take the small sample. He swallows, licks his lips, and it takes a minute for him to fully process the taste. Eyes go wide and he chokes on her name,

"Posy, my God, that is amazing!" There's a look of pure pride in his face, and Posy lights up when she receives the praise from her brother. "Where on God's green earth did you learn to cook like that?"  
Posy smiles gently, looking over between Gale and Madge with a nonchalant shrug. "Madge gave me the recipe, all I had to do was follow the directions."

Gale smiles at his wife, who pretends not to think much of as she shrugs her shoulders the moment their eyes lock with each others. Truthfully, Madge was happy to give her the recipe, I was one that she had learned when she was younger and trying to help Quinn out in the kitchen to relieve herself of boredom. Giving it to Posy, the girl who actually wanted real use of it, was something that she could do without a second though.

"Can we eat now? I'm hungry." Vick interrupts, his tone slightly whiny.

"Vick!" Posy scolds, arms crossing over her chest. "We can't eat until Mom's ready." The attempt at an authoritative tone causes a chuckle from everyone in the room, since even now she still sounds like a child when she speaks. "Guys, I'm serious!"

"Yes, Posy. We know that you're serious." Gale concedes, his hands placed gently on her shoulder, though the attempt does not cause her pout to disappear. "Vick will just have to wait."

"Come on guys!" Madge protests. "The boy is hungry, give him some bread or something to hold him over until it's time to eat." She suggests, trying her best to mask the chuckle that is threatening to take over.

"I knew I liked you for a reason, Madge. This is why you're my favorite sister."

Posy casts a glare at Vick as soon as he spoke the words, her response ringing of anger. "She isn't even your sister!"

Vick simply shrugs. "She is Gale's wife, though. It's close enough."

Posy groans, turning back to the sauce to stir it before checking on the pasts in the pan nex to it.

Per Madge's suggestion, Vick grabs a slice of bread off the plate that was sitting on the counter, mumbling something about how it was all too easy to rile up his little sister. Nibbling on the bread, he makes to slide into a seat at the table to wait, and adjusts himself just slightly that Madge catches the attempt to put his feet on the table, and she loudly scolds with just one word. "Vick."

It was all it took, though, and he slouches back into the chair, a defeated expression playing on his face while Madge's reflects an accomplished one on her own. She looks over to Gale, who true to his fashion has remained mostly silent, not budging at the reminds that Madge was his wife (much to her surprise, as on occasion he would mumble, groan, or there would be some small sor of acknowledgment that he didn't want to be married to her. Madge often has to remind herself that she's reading into his actions too much when she thinks of these things), but he seems to have gotten lost in a short conversation with his sister. She exhales quietly, knowing that she needs to find time to talk to him - she can't interrupt the family moment that is happening right now. So she nervously chews on the inner corner of her lip and puts it in the back of her mind while she sets the table.

They eat in a comfortable silence, clean the table and wash the dishes together. The kids are working on the last of their projects for their time away from school. Twenty minutes later and they're sitting alone in the front room when Madge brings it up. She was laying on the couch, hand resting lazily on her stomach as the child inside of her was basically doing the two-step at that moment, and she shoots up so quickly it hurts her neck.

"Oh! I totally forgot!" She exclaims to get his attention. All eyes are on her and she looks to Gale, ignoring them all. "Katniss called yesterday, she was wondering, if given the circumstance we would still be going to Twelve for the wedding next week."

"She did?" Gale questions, and Madge tries her hardest to read the facial expression he's wearing, one she hadn't seen before, but she isn't able to figure it out. That causes her insides to stir slightly. She swallows, though, lips rolling together to try and keep her cool. "Do you want to go?"

There's a pregnant silence – Madge assumes that Gale is now contemplating the offer, one that can't be an easy decision for him, since right now he's deciding if he wants to go to the wedding of the only girl he can ever recall loving.

She watches curiously as he licks his bottom lip, eyes locked on the ground, and draws out the word "Yeah.."

"Really?" Her tone is more shocked than she had intended it to be it's slightly high pitched, almost as if it wasn't even herself speaking. Despite being shocked that he wants to go, Madge is relieved because she did want to attend Peeta and Katniss' wedding, a long time coming.

Gale nods. "Mhmm. I mean, she's my best friend. Even though we haven't really talked in a while and it seems like we've kind of had a falling out, I still want to, uh, support her, I guess."

"Okay. Cool. I was thinking we can go down this weekend to catch up a little bit before." She glances over to Hazelle with a raised brow. "You guys want to go home this weeked?"

"God, yes. I love you guys, but seriously, I am so bored here." Vick gripes, and with a hard glare from his mother he sinks back into the foot of the chair that he was leaning against while mumbling an apology.

"However rude that was of him, I think Vick is right. I don't think we're doing much good here anymore, and they do need to get back to school."

Lips roll together with a brief nod of her head, hands clap against her knees right before she speaks "So, its settled then. We're going to District Twelve." Though she's sporting a smile, she isn't exactly sure how excited that she is.

Madge is hit with a wave of sadness later that night as she sits on her bed, clad with wet hair dripping down her back and a loose t-shirt as her nightgown. It had been so great to have Gale's family with her, and realizing that this weekend they would be leaving wasn't something that had her jumping for joy. After all, they have helped Gale cope with everything, they've helped keep Madge sane so that none of them had to go through all of this alone. Without them, she isn't sure how she would have gotten through this, if she would have at all.

"Hey." Gale says, interrupting Madge from her thoughts, and he walks into the room. She smiles in reply, but it doesn't reach her eyes. His face turns to a sympathetic expressions and he questions "What are you thinking about?"

Madge shrugs – her gaze dropping to her stomach. "Just your family." As she speaks, she finds it in herself to look up at his face. "It's been awesome having them here, I see how happy they make you."

"They make you happy, too, Madge, I can tell. They are your family, too." She doesn't miss the words he speaks and the honest tone that rings through them, there's a comforting smile and nudge within him. Her heart flutters. "You wouldn't be thinking about them leaving with those sort of sad eyes of yours if you didn't care about them and didn't' want them to leave."

She attempts a smile, sighing, before nodding once. "I guess you're right. I just don't have any family of my own left, they're all that I've got. You guys and this little one."

There's a silence between the two of them as he stands up and moves over to the head of the bed. "Come here," he gestures, picking up a book from the bottom of the bedside table. She follows his command, confusion running through her, but she keeps quiet.

She sites next to him while he opens the book to a page with a picture that she's very familiar with. A smile tears the corners of her cheeks and he slides it into her lap. The picture shows Madge and her Dad at one of the school recitals, she's laughing at something with a slight pink shade to her cheeks and her hand slapped against her mouth. More than anything she wants to remember who took the picture, maybe it would help her remember what she was laughing at. "That was the last thing my dad and I did together." She states, sadness in her voice.

Gale grabs the album from her hands slowly, and her eyes peer up to his face just as he whispers. "C'mere." and wraps his arms around her, so tightly, the sensation causing her heart to race even more. God, she has missed this. "You have been so good at comforting me lately, helping me get through this whole amnesia stint thing, I figure it's my turn to help you through it. It can't be easy for you, I was thinking about it the other day. How hard it must be, if I was in your shoes I would be going absolutely crazy."

Madge chuckles. "Oh, Gale, you should know by now that I've always been crazy."

He laughs, his breath so warm on her neck as her head rests on his chest. She didn't realize just how much she missed being able to sit with him, to be near him like this. Her eyes close, a gentle exhale, and she relaxes into his side. As she does so, he doesn't seem to hesitate to tighten his grip around her.

They're able to sit like that for a few moments in silence. It's just the two of them together, enjoying the company of one another.

"Gale?" Madge mumbles.

"Hm?"

"Do you really want to go 4o Katniss' wedding?" She was reluctant to ask, though, but the different scenarios playing in her head wouldn't leave her alone until she did. The most vibrant one being the reason that he wants to go is because he wants to try and convince Katniss she shouldn't do it, she's making a mistake, and playing the role of the hero so that they fall in love. Leaving, Gale and Madge to no longer be the Hawthorne's.

Once again, she feels his chest rise as he lets out a sigh. "Madge." He starts, his tone flat and unreadable, her chest is pounding. "I know that Katniss is part of my past, I've accepted it. It's not been easy, as I am sure you have realized, letting it go. Coming to terms with the fact that everything I know is completely, different. That the person who I loved isn't the person who I now love. Realizing that I am married and have a kid on the way. But, I don't think I'll be able to fully come to terms with that fact until I'm able to see it all and see that everyone is really happy, and that this is really happening. Once I do that, I'm going to try to move on with my life. I want to move on with my life, with our life. With you and our baby. With _our family."_

Somewhere during the speech, Madge had sat up straight, now lookin in his face to see the genuine in his words. Her eyes are pricking with tears at the brim. Our family. Those two words, a few syllables, something that he had said and it only took a few short moment. God, Madge had no idea how much of an effect they would have on her (hormones, maybe, or maybe she's just needed to hear them), but they nudge something inside her. She becomes so full of emotions for what he had said she wasn't sure how else to deal with it. Madge rarely did things like this. Without a moment's hesitation, though, she reaches up and places both of her cold hands on her cheeks and pull his face close to hers, and in that moment her lips crash against his in what could only be described as the most impulsive move that she has ever been made

He doesn't pull back, which causes a wave of shock over her. She's the one to part the warm kiss – biting her lower lip as she clenches her fingers into a nervous fist. A warm feeling rushes through her cheeks, a pink tint covering it. When she finally brings her eyes to meet with his face, it's pale and slightly surprised, his grey eyes are glazed with what Madge can only describe as uncertainty.

"Um.." She swallows visibly, fumbling her fingers through her hair as she speaks, flustered, I'm just gonna.." In an attempt to avoid the awkward eye contact she twists quickly, popping her back as she does so, and darts to pick up the towel that she tossed on the floor before Gale had interrupted her self pity party. "Uhm, go do something."

There's a breathy chuckle as she reaches the door frame. "Madge."

She turns around slowly, hesitantly, "Really, Gale, I've got to go...' Think of something, Madge. She yells at herself. Anything. "...Wash the dishes."

"There's like two cups in the sink, Madge. Seriously. They can wait." His voice still reminiscent of the chuckle he let out only moments ago, and Madge can swear that there's a literal swarm of butterflies in her stomach.

She gestures towards the door "I know but.."

He shakes his head swiftly as he cuts her off mid sentence. "But you want to avoid something potentially awkward by running away? Yes, I know, I do the exact same thing. The game won't work on me."

"Damn it, Gale." Irritation rings clearly in here voice and flows down to the exact stance that she's holding herself in. She places her hand over her mouth, lips pursing together behind them as she ponders what she should do, what she should say.

"Fine." Gale replies, the irritation in his tone exactly the same as Madge. "If you want to go, Fine. Go wash those two cups and re-wash clothes that don't need to be washed, go scrub the floors even though I know its hard for you to get down that low because of your bad back, and the pregnancy belly isn't going to make it any easier. Go avoid everything because you're too afraid to get hurt by your own impulsive acts, go and make up stupid shit to clean. That's how you've always been, isn't it? That's why you kept to yourself all the years. It's why you were able to be friends with Katniss, because the two of you always just buried your feelings below the surface." He shakes his head. "That's what I did, I'm actually shocked that we got to this point." His hand gestures between the two of them, indicating their marriage, their child.

Madge swallows, biting her bottom lip hard, to hold back the snippy comeback that she normally would state in order to hide the hurt that has splashed over her quickly, in a way reminiscent of a wave crashing onto a beach. With a deep inhale and exhale, she twists on her heel and storms out of the room, arms crossed over her chest, the wet towel still in her hand.

She tosses the same wet towel lazily in the wash pile they keep in their bathroom, and somewhere after that she finds herself in the kitchen, the sink filling with the hottest water possible and three times the amount of soap that is necessary. The two cups, bowl and spoon that she had used to eat the ice cream earlier, and a random fork that was in the sink set on the side of the sink. She hadn't needed that much water or soap, but dishes was one of the favorite chores that she could do. The warmth of the water colliding with her skin brought a comforting sensation over her that she couldn't find words to describe. It was just something that made her feel better, regardless of what was troubling her that day, or the fact that it was a temporary comfort.

She stands with her hands immersed in the water, ignoring the fact that they're turning red from the heat and will probably burn. She runs a damp wash rag over the edges of the glass and allows her mind to wander to the one thought that keeps coming back to the front of her mind. The thought that she wants to slap herself across the face, if such an act where possible. She knew that things were getting better for her and Gale, they were making progress, that much was a fact no one could deny.

But they weren't to the point where she could just grab his face and kiss it whenever she felt the right emotions flow through her. She feels that she's probably just ruined everything, everything that she has worked so hard to build.

She's been working so hard to be that loving and supportive wife, the one that everyone dreams of and the one that she's always strived to be. But at the same time, she was also trying to get the husband she's dreamed of since she was 16 years old to fall back in love with her. And, well, she thought it was almost working. He no longer cringed when she would initiate conversation, he would no longer shy away from her and would tell her how he felt, he asked about her days and when they would share laughs and smiles and all of those things, she could tell that things were getting better. Gale wasn't the same guy he was before they fell in love, he wasn't giving her the snippy comments and he wasn't calling her "princess" or making it seem like she thought that she was higher than him, no longer implying that she thought that he was worth less than the dirt she tracked in on her shoes.

Pulling the stopper out of the drain, Madge realizes that the first time in as long as she can remember, washing the dishes hadn't cleared her mind, nor had it made her feel better about herself. Not even close. She sighs inwardly and walks cautiously back to her bedroom. She slowly pushes the door open wider to see Gale, who is laying fully clothed on top of the covers, dead asleep. She can hear his little snore and his chest rises slowly as he inhales and it falls just the same with an exhale. There's a book that she assumes he was reading that had fallen just to the side of him. Seeing this sight causes a smile to tug at the corners of her lips.

One simple thought creeps into her mind, and it's one that is clear as day now.

Madge is kind of an idiot.

* * *

 **authors note:** It's been since March. Almost four months. I don't know if anyone is even gonna keep up with this story, but I promised myself I would finish it on here. The story is finished, just needs editing and posting and life has been _so hectic._ About a month ago I stopped working because they no longer needed the staff that they had, so I have been looking for work and trying to make my rent. I love being an adult. It's all good, though, I got a new job that pays way more and the company is way better. Hopefully, I can post the remaining four chapters before November and a new NaNo project starts. I want to post even more before the end of my training class in August. Any and all mistakes in this chapter are my own. Bye!


	9. chapter nine

**CHAPTER NINE**

" _The world finds ways to sting you, and then one day decides to bring you something to believe in. For even a night._

 _One day may be forever, but that's alright. And if you're gone tomorrow, what was ours still will be."_

 _Something to Believe in, (Alan Menken, Newsies)_

In the days that follow, Madge and Gale get back into their somewhat normal routine. And of course, that means that neither of them talk about what happened a few nights ago. Madge finds that she is doing more laundry than she needs to, she's packing the totally the necessary items that they don't even use on a regular basis, and spends an extra half hour at the school planning lessons for the next month for her class, all in prep for their trip back home. At least, that's what she's telling herself. The more she repeats it on her walks home, the more she starts to believe that is what she's doing.

Before either of them realize it, they're on the train. Posy is laughing and bouncing, Vick is staring longingly out the window, and Gale and Hazelle are deep in conversation that Madge can't make out. She keeps stealing glances at the handsome man that she married, and worry won't stop creeping up her back. The thoughts of going home and what that means for her and Gale making her nerves rise. She can't help the small idea that maybe he won't want her, won't want to try and move forward and make this work; and the thought is killing her.

But she's gotten really good at hiding the thought, so the entire train ride she tries to distract herself in the novel that she's currently reading.

When they arrive, Madge realizes that all the building look completely different, they aren't as shabby or rustic. The air that was once soot filled and clear, Madge can actually see grass out in the corner, leaves on the trees fluttering through the air and she can hear birds singing. _Birds._ Despite the obvious changes that have been made in District Twelve, she can't help but smile at the comforting feeling of home when she steps off the train.

Gale steps off behind her, an apprehensive look on his face. Madge puts her hand on his arm reassuringly with a comforting rub. "Don't worry, sweetheart. We'll be fine." She says the words hoping they ring true for both of them. A smile pulls across her face and a light tone takes her next words. "Come along, Woody, you're best friend is awaiting and she probably wants you to whisk her away from all the wedding planning with Peeta."

His brow raises, and Madge can see it in his face at the slight smirk on the corner of his lips that he's holding back a chuckle. With her smile widening she bends down (not without struggle) to toss her bag over her shoulder., she stands straight and glances over her shoulder to an approaching Katniss and Peeta - a sight she never thought she would see.

Standing in front of Katniss, her only friend for most of her life, for the first tme in years she can't help but rush into a warm, albeit awkward, hug. "I can't believe this is happening!" Madge exclaims excitedly as she pulls back "I never would have thought that I would see the day Katniss Everdeen walks down the aisly. Legitimately, that is." Katniss responds to the blonde's excitement with a light chuckle and small shake of her head. Madge wasn't expecting anything more.

Peeta interrupts a few second later, taking Madge's hands in his and examining her quickly. "Look at you, Madgie, you look radiant. Pregnancy really does suit you."

"Yes, well, you're seeing me after I spent the last twenty minutes of the train ride washing my hair and trying to make my hair sit flat. See me in the morning, at the end of the day, or even really anywhere in between. I'm told that I am grumpy, my students are starting to get irritated. Brenna actually asked me when I was leaving for my "mommy break" as she called it." Madge explains in a cheerful tone as she can muster, to the laughter of the rest of the group.

With the exception of Gale.

Instead, he scoffs, with a shake of his head. "You think she's kidding? She's a nightmare in the mornings, honestly. She can't have her coffee anymore so you might as well be dealing with President Snow himself. One morning last week she actually broke a mug because she was so annoyed that I told her she couldn't have any of the coffee I had made."

Eyes roll and her lips purse together with her arms crossed defensively over her chest.. "Well, that's what you get for making it!"

"Yeah, Gale. Why are you flaunting your ability to drink coffee in front of your pregnant wife. That's like saying, 'hey, look. I get to do all this fun stuff and now you get to sacrifice basically your entire life and look like a whale because of it! Have fun, love you!" Vick replies, an obvious attempt to defend Madge. He'd always liked her, Madge recalls.

She chokes on a cough that she didn't know that he had when he speaks the words, and everyone tosses a glare at Vick.

"Lesson one, Vick." A voice says from behind them, and they all turn in sync to see Rory, who is sporting a very large smile on his face and walking towards them. "Never, ever, no matter the circumstances, tell a pregnant woman that she could potentially look anything other than stunning, even if it is true that she isn't." At the end of that statement he turns to address madge and pulls her into her a hug, whispering into her hair. "You really do look exceptionally beautiful, Madge. You should be pregnant all the time."

"Thanks, Rory. I'll pass on being pregnant all the time, though. I'm ready to be _done._ " The reply is spoken as she feels her cheeks warm, and after she turns towards her husband. "Sweetheart, I think given everything that has happened it might be a good thing if I leave you for your brother. He's such a charmer. You won't be upset, right?"

Gale says no words, his brow raises and stuffs his hands into his pockets instead.

Later that night, everyone has gone their separate ways and Madge is now sitting on the foot of the bed in Katniss' spare room. The lights are dim and the door creaks, she lifts her head to see Gale entering the room.

"Hi." He says, and she replies with a smile.

"Hey." His face is flat, emotionless. Typical District 12 Gale, it would seem. Seeing him in the room should surprise her, but for some odd reason, she isn't remotely surprised.

"What's up?" She asks with a tilted head.

"You were just kidding earlier, with Rory, right? I mean, he was right. You do look completely stunning and you know that Vick was just joking, you don't look like a whale and I don't mean to flaunt my ability to drink coffee in front of you. I'll stop."

Madge laughs lightly,. "Don't worry, Gale. I know you didn't know when you did that. I know your brothers were just kidding and Rory was simply being his super polite self. He's too young for my interest. Plus you already know that he's in a serious relationship right now. " As she speaks, Gale walks over and sits next to her, closer than a platonic friend would sit. Ever since she kissed him the other day, she has noticed a lot of little changes in the things that Gale would do around her. It's almost as if Gale has been a lot more comfortable about being himself around her, he's sat closer to her, didn't flinch when she would playfully nudge is shoulder or rub his arm affectionately. He would leave the bathroom door open when he was washing his face without his shirt on in the morning and he didn't flinch when she walked passed him. When they were just friends before they had gotten together and before they left district twelve, if she had done any of those things, he would have shot her where she stood. She's also noticed the interest that he had taken in her health and the cute little twitches and smiles towards her. Now his leg is almost touching hers while they sit on the bed. _That's_ how she knows that they are making progress. The little things that she's noticed, those are the moments that remind her that all the little doubts that she's had are just her paranoid self.

"Yeah, I don't know how I feel about that…" Gale shakes his head, Madge knows he doesn't like the idea of his siblings being grown up. "But," he starts, taking her hand. "I know that you aren't the kind of person who would ruin two really good relationships."

"Two? What are you-" she begins, her mind racing, but is cut off by his lips brushing against hers, his warm and callused hand resting on the nape of her neck. She allows herself to fall into the kiss despite being taken completely by surprise. Things seem so perfect once more when she's with him now, tasting him and the rush that she always gets when her lips dance with his; it is as if nothing has changed.

It's only a few seconds, but it seemed like a lifetime, to be kissing him for that long. It's only been a few days since her spur of the moment kiss back home, but before that? It had seemed like an eternity since the last time that she was able to feel the simplest touch from him. And God, had she missed it, had she _craved it._ Call it love, or maybe just the hormones from her pregnancy, but just this one, this one truly remarkable kiss, makes Madge feel like she's running on a high, walking amoung the clouds.

"Two." Gale says again firmly, a nod of reassurance as his fingers brush across her face in a sweep to move the stray lock of her blonde hair behind her ear. He kisses her temple and whispers against her skin. "I may not remember everything, I probably won't ever remember everything. But I know that there's something here, something I wouldn't have dreamed of. I can't shake the feeling, you're driving me absolutely mad. I don't want to throw that away because I'm stubborn. I want to try."

She can't even hide it, there's a smile as big Panem itself plastered on her face.

* * *

 **authors note:** I think, though I may be mistaken, this is the shortest chapter in the story. Which makes no sense to me why it took me so long to edit and post it, because I've had a lot of days off to work on it. I have no excuse, I'm just exhausted from this new job. (by the way, I'm a bus driver? isn't that odd? It's weird. But hey, it pays my bills.) With November fast approaching, I really really really really want to get this project done and out of the way before NaNoWriMo starts back up. I don't know if I'll be working on anything this November, honestly, but I really wanna try. I think I might do another Gadge story. Like finish On Behalf of a Grateful Nation? I only wrote like a chapter of that one before. If anyone wants that, let me know. That would be a post as I go story, probably once a week for a month. We'll see. Anyway, I'm done rambling. Here's the latest installment of TMYFML. We're making progress, Gadge is almost a thing, we've only got like 3 chapters left I think. It's almost baby time!


	10. chapter ten

**CHAPTER TEN - WE RAN INSTEAD OF WALKING**

 _"_ _In the world full wrong y_ _ou're the thing that's right_

 _Finally made it t_ _hrough the lonely t_ _o the other side._

 _You said it again my hearts in motion, every word feels like a shooting star."_

 _\- Terrified, (Katharine McPhee)_

"Madge?" Katniss presses as the blonde weaves her fingers through the brown locks of her friend. "Madge, you've combed your fingers through that part twelve times now.."

Head shakes as she comes to reality, sighing heavily. "Right. Sorry, Katniss. I'm kind of…"

"Distracted, I get it. It's not easy, is it?" Katniss supplies with a gentle tone.

"No." Madge concedes, her eyes looking down at the braid she's now starting atop Katniss' head.

"You and Gale are gonna get through it; you just have to let it grow back to the way it was and be patient with him. He'll likely get really frustrated sometimes when his memory fades in and out, don't take it personally. Peeta still has episodes, they're few and far between, and the more time goes on the less they occur, but when he does all I can do is be there for him and remind him who he is and why we're here. I'm sure it's the same with Gale."

Madge looks at the girl's reflection in the mirror, raising her brow. "You think?" Truthfully, she hadn't even thought to talk to Katniss about any of this, forgetting that she'd gone through something so similar, yet so worse than what she was going through.

"Yeah." Katniss supplies with a nod, the word spoken with such confidence it makes Madge smile.. "I know Gale, I've known him practically my whole life, so I've seen a lot of sides of him. If he's being an ass you can't take it personally, it's like the way his brain works. Sometimes he does stupid things."

"You're telling me." Madge mutters. "Why couldn't have the head injury taken away that part of his brain, instead of his memories? Or if he was going to get amnesia, why did it have to be like the most important years of his life. Head injuries are weird."

Katniss laughs, bending her head down as she does through. "Recoverable, though."

"Don't look down!" Madge chastises, pulling gently on the strands of hair intertwined through her fingers. "They are, thankfully. It's looking like he's starting to remember things little by little, and he's been a little warmer around the house, we actually have civil conversations after work, if you can believe it. The doctors have been giving him these rehab exercises to follow, like re-training his brain to do little things, and I think it's been helping the memories."

"Good." Katniss supplies, licking her top lip at that.

Madge hums "Mhmm," in reply, biting on her bottom lip as she concentrates on her task at hand.

There's a moment of silence, so comfortable for the two girls that Madge almost jumps at the sound of Katniss' soft voice. "Madge?"

"Yeah?"

"If you ever want to talk… I'm a pretty good listener. Still working on the conversation bit, I know I was never particularly good at that."

Madge laughs, tieing off the end of Katniss' braid before pulling at the ends to loosen it. "We haven't ever really been the kind of girl friends who sit around and talk about our problems, I don't know if it would be healthy for our friendship." She jokes, and Katniss chuckles as she does so. "But really, thank you. In my own selfishness of this whole situation, I forgot that I had a friend to lean on. Someone who kind of understands what it's like for _me,_ and would also be super straight with me when I am being selfish. I just got so caught up in my own life and convincing myself that I was completely alone in all of this that I forgot to give you a call."

Katniss smiles, "I get what that's like, trust me. We're more alike than you realize."

"It seems like Gale has a type, then." Madge says before she can stop herself. "Anyway, let's go get you married, I bet Peeta is dying of impatience right now."

The ceremony was beautiful; Katniss was radiating in happiness, so much so that even a blind man could see it. If she had managed to look around at everyone in the room, she's sure she wasn't the only one crying (but if she was…. Damn those hormones.).

Katniss' actual wedding dress is much simpler than the ones that were designed by the capitol citizens back when she was first engaged to Peeta - If Madge and Posy would have let her, they're sure she would have worn something even simpler: her hunting outfit.

But she elected to wear a simple cut white dress made out of a cotton material. The simplicity is what makes it so stunning, and so Katniss. Madge wishes she looked as beautiful as Katniss had when she was married.

Listening to Peeta and Katniss say their wedding vows, watching them get married - the love that these two human beings have is something that Madge wishes for everyone.

The couple shares a kiss, gentle and chaste, and the small group of people witnessing the event applaud them, a few muttering "finally!".

Madge looks next to Gale, and smiles. The smile that he sports while clapping proudly for his best friend….. he looks so happy for her, so supporting and Madge couldn't ask for anything more. (Plus, when he smiles… If he would have just smiled during the war, just smiled at President Snow, the entire nation would probably be in his hands right now.)

"Gale! Madge!" The voice of Rory rings loudly through the small room causing Madge to recoil and jump slightly, hands clench tight enough that her nails are piercing her skin. With a deep breath, she straightens her stance, and frees her fingers from her fist.

"Rory, I swear to all the Gods you better have a good reason for _screaming"_ Madge all but growls, beset.

"I do, swear. Sorry, didn't realize it was going to come out so loud." Rory says playfully, resting his arm on her shoulder. Madge hates that he's taller than her now. He jerks his head towards the red haired woman following him in tow, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"I wanted you to meet Tenna. Tenna, my brother and sister in law, Gale and Madge." As he introduces each of them, he gestures to the person he's speaking of, his smile never wavering as he does so. Madge's smile hasn't fallen all day, there's so much love in the air that she's almost jealous.

"Tenna, it's a pleasure to meet you. I think it's safe to say that Rory has told us a lot about you?" Gale says with a smile.

Madge chuckles nervously. "Yes, it is. He's told us plenty. Not that you were a red-head, though, which I am appalled by, by the way, we will have a talk about important details later, Rory." Madge shakes her head briskly, then turns back to Tenna. "Your hair is gorgeous!" She raves about the long red locks cascading in loose waves around the girls face. "Does it wave like that naturally?"

Tenna nods, a hesitant smile on her face. "For the most part. I usually twist it into a few braids at the end of the day and that adds a bit of effect to it, but yeah, this is natural."

"It's gorgeous. I wish my hair would do something, ever since I got pregnant it's been a mess of pin straight nothingness. Before I could at least get it to do something, but now? Nope. I don't know if it's because I've gotten exceedingly lazy or if there's hormones that's making it act like it owns me instead of vice versa." Madge jokes with the younger woman.

"Thank you. And nonsense, your hair looks lovely straight, it fits your face shape well." Tenna says with a friendly push to her shoulder. "I wish my hair was straight sometimes, I feel like it's easier to frame your face when it's straight."

Madge chuckles, laughing lightly, and the two women get lost in talks of the best ways to alter their hair and the features that they highlight.

Before she realizes it, it's dusk. Katniss looks exhausted as she and her new husband say their goodbyes. Though only a few close friends had attended her ceremony, (the Hawthorne's, Madge, and a few families that had returned home shortly after Katniss and had been supportive) Madge can tell that Katniss wasn't particularly fond of talking to them all night. Peeta didn't leave her side, Madge also noticed. They complimented each other perfectly.

She yawns herself, walking over to where Gale was talking to Posy and Tenna.

"Hey, sleepy." Gale addresses her.

"Madge!" Posy exclaims, "I meant to tell you earlier but I got distracted, Katniss' hair looked lovely. Can you do mine tomorrow?"

Madge nods. "You bet I can. Do you have any reason why?"

Posy scoffs, "I just wanna look pretty."

Gale laughs. "You always do, Pose."

"Anyway, I think it's time for me to get some sleep. This little child of yours has been very active tonight and carrying her around is exhausting." Madge says as she turns to Gale.

"Okay, are you staying with Katniss again or did you want to come stay with Ma?"

"Please please please stay with us, Madge! It'll be so much easier for you to do my hair."

Madge chuckles. "That's a good point. Plus, not so sure I want to bother Katniss and Peeta on their wedding night."

Her husband swallows, hard, hesitation showing in his features. "That's uh, a good idea."

He gets an eye roll in response. Men. "That's not exactly what I mean, They've had enough company for one day."

He clears his throat again, she can see him shake his head, shake off the nerves. His expression changes, a smirk takes his lips, and Madge's heart rate quickens as he speaks to her softly "So, you're coming home with me, then?" Gale questions, brows raised.

"Good gracious, Gale, you're despicable!" She laughs, though. "I've been coming home with you and to you for several years now."

He shrugs nonchalantly, "I don't remember having a pretty girl like you coming home with me."

Madge shoots him a confused and slightly upset look, though a chuckle is boiling down in the back of her throat..

He immediately turns a defensive smile on her. "What? I can't make jokes about my own brain injury? What kind of world do we live in."

Madge lets out a breathy laugh, shaking her head just slightly. "Fair point."

The walk back to the Hawthorne house is long, Madge's ankles hurt, her back hurts, and she's _exhausted._ So much so that the second she gets inside and Gale shows her to the extra bedroom, she flops on his bed without taking off her shoes.

"You okay, Madge?"

"I'm dead. Just leave me to die." She mumbles to herself. God, she wishes she could comfortably bury herself into a pillow. This child growing inside her has other ideas, though.

Gale laughs, walking over to her and sitting next to her on the bed. He pulls her feet onto his lap and helps her slide the flats she was wearing off. "You should at least die comfortably."

Her heart races. The moments like this, when he's so genuine and caring, they're the ones that she loves and cherish. "So considerate." She laughs.

His callused hand traces lines along the side of her foot and she squirms. "Gale Hawthorne, you better stop that" she says ough light chuckles.

"Why is that, Madge Undersee?" He presses quietly.

"Tickles."

His laugh, the one he gives her in reply, is infectious. "Why am I not surprised that Madge Undersee, the precious girl from town," His hands trace up her leg, Madge has goosebumps. Before she realizes it, his hands are on her side and she's gasping for air, unable to stop the laughter as his fingers tickle her sides gently. As he adjusts to keep his dominance over her, his sentence completes with, "is ticklish."

"Alright, alright. You caught me." She says, squirming to try and get away from his grasps, the words breathless. And though she hates being tickled, joy is radiating through her smile.

"I did." He whispers, his hand brushing along her cheek before kissing her temple. "Get some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow."

She hums in reply, burying herself under the covers. Sleep, like the moments that she just had, seemed divine. She doesn't have time to think about anything that had happened today before the slumber takes over her.

That night, she dreams the happiest dream she's had in months.

* * *

 **authors note:** _bet you weren't expecting to see me so soon._


	11. chapter eleven

**CHAPTER** **ELEVEN - SOMETHING IN THE AIR YOU CAN'T DENY**

 _"Switch on the sky and the stars glow for you. Go see the world cause it's all so brand new._

 _Don't close your eyes because the future's ready to shine._

 _It's just a matter of time before you learn how to fly."_

\- _When Can I See a You Again (Owl City)_

She probably should have mentioned something to him about coming home late. But in her defense since he's returned to work at the Guard he gets home after her and she didn't think she would be that late.

She also didn't think he'd come home early. Telling him she was going to be a few hours late after work seemed pointless.

So when she hears his almost panicking yell of her name as she opens the door and steps into their small kitchen with groceries hanging off of either arm, she inhales sharply with a wave of guilt, and exhales it through calling back "Yeah, its me."

The sound of all the grocery bags pounding on her counter almost make it so she misses what he replies with as he's walking from the bedroom towards the kitchen.

"God, I got home and you weren't…." he stops in his tracks, doesn't finish his sentence, and points at her, eyes wide and brow raised just slightly. "You cut your hair."

She did cut her hair. Her blonde hair reached the middle of her back before and was becoming such a pain in the morning. Now she donned a much shorter cut. An A-line, she thinks it was called. It cuts off in the back at the nape of her neck, and in the front chopping off just above her shoulders. "Yes, I did, you're very observant." Madge chides with a playful smile as she begins to pull the groceries out of the bags and set then on the counter (gently, hoping that her slamming them down moments ago didn't break anything).

"It looks good." he comments gently, walking into the kitchen to help her put the food away.

Even after all these years, his compliments make her blush. Her face warms and she smiles, though she tries to hide it by looking down to the counter and grabbing the packages for the fridge. She hums an almost inaudible "Thanks."

He nods once, and then goes on to ask "Why?"

She shrugs, straightening up after putting the items she held away. "I figured why not. You mentioned that babies like to grab longer hair. Unless you've had your hair pulled you won't understand the sheer pain that tears through your scalp when it happens."

She hears him chuckle at that, and he doesn't press it further.

"It is a lot lighter, too." She goes on to say. Though she likes how it looks, she feels a wave of sadness knowing that she won't have the long golden locks that seemed to be a part of her identity. Subconsciously, she's trying to defend her decision to herself. "Will be easier to work with in the morning and easier to wash, too. Though, right now the weight change on my head is making me a little dizzy, so I'm going to sit down."

He nods, before she can walk out presses a gentle kiss to her forehead and whispers. "Let me get you a glass of water."

God, she loves this man. The dopey smile wearing on her face is clear of that.

She takes a sip of the water and winces, hand moving to her side. Gale didn't miss it, because as she does so, she hears his concerned tone again.

"What? Too cold?"

She shakes her head. "No, just been cramping a lot today." She swallows another sip of water. "Don't worry about it."

She gets a suspicious glare in reply. "Are you sure? Should you be cramping when you're almost due?"

Madge laughs.

"What? You're not concerned at all? What if she's not okay in there and that's why you're cramping?"

She just shakes her head. "Gale, you're being paranoid."

He purses his lips. "If you say so."

She nods, sliding onto the couch. "I do. Can you cook dinner?"

"Uh, I guess so."

Madge just shoots him a smile in response. That was easier than she thought it would be, so her feet are kicked up on the couch and for the first time in a while she feels like she can relax before dinner.

They ate a simple pasta dish (their signature), and since he cooked, she agrees to clean. It comes seemingly out of nowhere. A sharp pain that isn't anything like the cramps she felt before, and Madge slowly sets the plate she was washing back in the sink. Her eyes close tightly and she can hear her own heavy breaths.

A minute later, she's gathered herself and looks to Gale. "Sweetheart?" She questions, picking the plate back up to wash it.

"Hm?" He hums from the couch, not looking up from the report he was reading.

"I need a favor, if you're up for it." She says casually.

"What's that? I've got to finish reading these before work tomorrow."

His response is spacey, not that she minded or was upset. She glances over to him while she sets the plate on the drying rack. "If you're busy, it's okay. I can count my own contractions."

Gale nods, mumbling under his breath as he stares at the page in his hand. "Yeah, okay, let me know how many you have."

She glances at him for a moment, watching as he lowers the paper to the coffee table. Three… two… one, and then he looks over at her with mouth agape and eyes wide.

She laughs, and she doesn't know why.

"Did you just say contractions?" He asks as his hands push him off the sofa, feet carrying him into the kitchen.

"I did." Madge states firmly, pulling the plug from the sink and staring blankly as the water rushes down the drain.

"Well, shouldn't you be, I don't know, freaking out or something?"

She shakes her head.

"You know, you weren't that young when you mother had Posy, you should remember. It takes a while for labor to get going. We sit, we talk, we count the length of my contractions and how often apart they are. And then, when they're close enough together then we call the doctor to come and help deliver an infant child."

He has no words for her, he just stares at her with the corners of his lips turned up slightly.

"Keep it together, Hawthorne." She says as she pats his shoulder, walking back into the front room.

Hours pass. The night drags on until it's almost 3am, neither of them have slept because whenever they try a sharp pain shoots inside Madge. Madge doesn't cry often when it comes to pain. She has a very high tolerance. But this is the worst pain she's felt in a while and tears stream down her face.

She wants to be done, she wants it to be over. Ava and Jenkins came over a few hours ago, Ava has been coaching Madge through the pain and labor as she's training to become a midwife - her doctor has been phoned and is on the way.

Gale is chewing on the corner of his thumb nail, pacing back and forth. He's nervous, anyone with eyes could see it. Madge wants to comfort him, remind him that they are about to have their daughter and they're going to be a family, but she can't. Because she is absolutely frightened. So she holds onto the small baby blanket from Brintlee, and it helps. Because it reminds her that she's about to meet her daughter.

Every fear is washed away the second she's placed in her arms. Gale is next to her wearing a smile wider than one Madge has ever seen. Their daughter is healthy, they're parents, and Madge has never felt so complete.

Gale presses a light kiss to each of their foreheads and she finally allows herself to let out the happy and airy chuckle. Her eyes meet his as she runs her hand across their daughters head. He whispers just one thing in reply to her unspoken words.

"Thank you."


	12. finale

**FINALE - WITH LOVE**

 _"But still you smile despite the lines I drew for you_

 _Cause every time I'm slipping away from myself you're the one that moves me like nobody else._

 _With love."_

 _With Love, Christina Grimmie_

Madge Undersee was never the kind if girl to lose her mind over a boy. She had never been the kind of girl who was so reliant on finding a man to settle down, she had always seen herself as independent; but this man that sits across from her has a hold on her heart, she can't let go of him. She doesn't want to let go of him. She bites her lip through a smile, love and devotion wearing in her eyes as she watches him play with their daughter.

They've been through so much together. They've shared pain and fear. Battles and hope. She's lost everything except for him, and through her mental breakdowns he was there for her. When she was almost ready to give up, he was there for her. They fought in a war together, they rebuilt their lives together. They created a life together.

And now they have three children. Their eldest daughter, Rose Mariana Hawthorne, is the spitting image of her father and a Daddy's girl to boot. At two years old she has that man wrapped around her finger, and everyone knows that she has since day one. Then, came the surprise children when Rose was only 7 months old. Madge found out she was pregnant and her heart stopped. They were still coping with rebuilding after the accident, was another child really going to help resolve their unsettled issues?

No, it hadn't. They were stressed and things were hard, emotionally and physically, but they got through it.

When they learned that Madge was expecting twins everything changed. But the moment that they laid eyes on their two youngest children the small family felt even more complete.

Twin boys was no easy feat. Jeremy and Jacen were a handful. If Madge thought having a toddler was hard enough – a toddler and two newborns was a whole other challenge. But if she were honest, she doesn't think she wants to change anything. At all.

Not the midnight feedings, not the fact that the twins aren't on the same feeding schedule, not the fact that Rose feels jealous of her younger brothers getting more attention than her (it isn't Madge's favorite thing in the world, granted, but she does enjoy the one on one time that she gets to share with the girl because of it), she wouldn't change the man she fell in love with, she wouldn't change the man that she married, and she wouldn't change the man who is now the father of her children.

Several times since Gale's accident all those months ago Madge would inwardly (and a few times to her friends) make comments about how she hated it, how she hated how it strained their relationship. She hated how she felt like she needed to walk around on toes to avoid hurting Gale or triggering something potentially catastrophic. She hated the entire situation, at the time. But in hindsight, as much as she loved that relationship she had with him before everything, she much rather prefers this one, now.

Madge is fairly certain that eventually they would have gotten to the point they were in now without the accident, but she isn't sure when that would have occurred and what they would have had to go through to get there. She's glad that none of her children had to see them so distanced and not fond of each other.

She learned a lot about herself in the months following the accident. She learned how reliant she was on him, how much she depended on him to get her through everything. And that wasn't a bad thing. Some women would tell her that she was too reliant on her husband and she wouldn't know how to get on without him. She begs to differ. Needing your significant other for support was not a flaw: it was not something to be ashamed of. If something traumatic would have happened to Gale, Madge would have been fine to get along with her daughter and be able to proceed happy and healthy lives, though it would have been so hard on them both, but eventually they would be able to do it. But wanting and needing someone for support, and wanting and needing to support someone else whenever either of you go through something rough? Madge fails to see how that is a bad thing.

Most importantly, Madge learned that everything happens the way things are meant to happen. She learned that nothing can be forced, she couldn't force the hunter to fall in love with her, she couldn't force herself to fall out of love with him. She just had to let it be. And it was - and they found their way to each other after everything.

These days Gale's memory of things is still foggy. If asked where he bought Madge's ring or how much he spent on it he couldn't tell you. But he can remember the important things. Like how Posy's favorite color is red, like the flowers that she helped her mom plant outside of their new home in district twelve. He remember that he has Madge by his side, that he loves her and would do anything to protect her. But he couldn't tell you how they got there.

Some years later, their eldest daughter wants to travel back to District Twelve to see where they met. She's starting to learn about the history of Panem, about the games and the rebellion, and they both hate it. Madge more than Gale, as her memories of the war and the violence still give her chills. They don't want to her to know the terrors that they had to endure, but they are also proud of what they had to do in order to make sure that their kids lived in a safe place, away from fear.

The second the family gets off the train back in District Twelve, they're greeted with open arms from Katniss, Peeta, and their toddling daughter, Ereneda.

Madge beams, watching as Ereneda and Jacen try to dance on the sidewalk as the stroll back to the Mellark house, Rose and Jeremy hopping down the side.

If she knows one thing, if there is one lesson that she learned in all her years, is that she's damn lucky to have these people in her life.

* * *

 **IN CONCLUSION ( a too long authors note regarding what comes next….)**

 _Holy mother of pearl…. That concludes the end of "To Make you Feel My Love" and I can't believe we actually got here! Three years in the making. Thank you so much to everyone who has taken time to read, comment, favorite and subscribe. I wrote this story for myself, because I couldn't get the idea out of my head, but your words of encouragement and wonder for the story are what kept me going. Even during my not so brief hiatus from writing, I would read the reviews people left and that's when I decided to take this story on as my NaNoWriMo project for 2016 - I hope that everyone else enjoys the re-write version as much as I do. If not.. Well, deepest apologies. I just couldn't leave it the way it was._

 _Thank you guys for sticking around with me once again - editing and posting this has become a real pain in my neck because of things that happened since November 2016; but i can't believe i finally got around to finishing it. And now, what's coming next and what I want to work on. I love writing, I love writing Gale and Madge and I have SO MANY story ideas I want to share._

 _I'm toying with the idea of finishing Menace, the AU story I started shortly after I started this one, which is based off the (now cancelled, wow) ABC show "Castle" - where Madge is a Mystery Novelist, shadowing the cold cut detective Gale Hawthorne. With appearances by fellow detectives, Katniss Everdeen and Thom Jones, NYPD captain Haymitch Abernathy, and medical examiner Peeta Mellark. The full summary of this story is posted on my previous account "stella brillare", which includes the first 5 chapters… absolutely nothing eventful really happens._

 _I'm also considering writing another story that's been stuck in my mind, a Gadge/Everlark AU, highlighting both couples, instead of just Gadge. Loosely based off the novels "Heir To the Empire, Dark Force Rising, and the Last Command" - also known as the "Thrawn Trilogy". Starring The Last Princess of Alderaan and leader of the Rebellion against the Empire Katniss Everdeen, her cousin, Jedi Knight Gale Hawthorne, and husband, General of the New Republic Peeta Mellark. With appearances by Former Emperor's Hand and current Galactic Trader Madge Undersee and Imperial Grand Admiral and Chiss warrior Alma Coin. Brief synopsis: Five years after the win at Endor and the fall of Emperor Snow, the New Republic is facing a new threat: Admiral Coin, who has commanded control of the Imperial Remnant. From their base of operations in the former Imperial Palace of Coruscant, Katniss works with the Head of State to form strategies of how to implement a political resolution to this problem. Gale Hawthorne, on the search for more information on the former Jedi Order, loses power to his x-wing and is caught by Madge Undersee, who had previously been tasked to kill Gale Hawthrone by the late emperor._

 _Either project will be written alongside my oneshots for On Behalf of a Grateful Nation. Can I write a solid canon-base story? No. I can't. If you guys have any suggestions, please let me know what you want to see or what you think would be a good read._

 _Honestly tho updates if I do post anything new will be hella slow, as I don't have a bunch of time because I'm exhausted, as mentioned previously. I work as a bus driver and the shift I am currently on is split shifts, ranging anywhere from 7:00-22:00, usually roughly 10 hours a day. But I'll try my best! I'm rambling and will be quiet now. Find me on the internet if you want to discuss nerdy things like fanfiction stories, or if you have any ideas on what should come next. Twitter darthkota, tumblr organa-solo. Thank you guys so much for all of your support and lovely reviews while I went on this adventure. I formally request you to please leave your fav Gadge stories in a review if you would bc I really want to read more, and I'm having a hard time finding any other stories to read._


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